I have been incredibly blessed to be with our children as they are welcoming precious little babies into their families. It hardly seems possible that God would bless us in such amazing ways with these precious new lives. I also rejoice and admire our children for the way they have walked in faith and trust in the Lord through the past couple of years.
The other day I found myself crying like a baby. It just hit me afresh! Lonnie is not coming home from a deployment. I was driving back from the airport after dropping off three precious little grandsons and their mommy. The car went from being full of life and chatter and activity to....me....in my sweet little Ford Focus.
I decided to drive by the ocean to see the sunset and saw couples walking together. It's easy sometimes to just start feeling sorry for yourself. The awesome husband God gave me is not with me now to walk hand-in-hand and enjoy the sounds of the ocean and the beautiful skies and, most of all, our children and their children.
But then, I remember the precious days we spent together and thank God for the memories of days gone by and for the memories our children's families will make together in the future. And their Daddy is present in their stories, laughter, and remembrances.
So, I cried out to God who was with me in my pain, cried pretty much the rest of the day and I knew that I was not alone.....I may be lonely for Lonnie but I am never alone. God is with me. I thank Him for that and for letting me sob and cry out to Him. I called out to my children and their precious spouses who pray with me and for me (and I know so many dear family members and friends who continue to pray for us).
Tiffany reminded me that on the day her Daddy died she asked me, "How are you ever going to make it without Daddy?" She said that I responded, "I have Jesus. He's right here with me. I have Jesus." I can hardly remember what I said that day, but I am thankful He has been with me every step of the way.
I thank anyone who would continue to remember us in their prayers as I covet those prayers for me and our family. I pray today for those who have lost loved ones.
I think God is doing a new thing in me where prayer is concerned. I know He is! Oh God, thank you for teaching us to pray and for the examples in the Word of those who prayed and who also asked for prayer. We really need each other, don't we?
The other day I found myself crying like a baby. It just hit me afresh! Lonnie is not coming home from a deployment. I was driving back from the airport after dropping off three precious little grandsons and their mommy. The car went from being full of life and chatter and activity to....me....in my sweet little Ford Focus.
I decided to drive by the ocean to see the sunset and saw couples walking together. It's easy sometimes to just start feeling sorry for yourself. The awesome husband God gave me is not with me now to walk hand-in-hand and enjoy the sounds of the ocean and the beautiful skies and, most of all, our children and their children.
But then, I remember the precious days we spent together and thank God for the memories of days gone by and for the memories our children's families will make together in the future. And their Daddy is present in their stories, laughter, and remembrances.
So, I cried out to God who was with me in my pain, cried pretty much the rest of the day and I knew that I was not alone.....I may be lonely for Lonnie but I am never alone. God is with me. I thank Him for that and for letting me sob and cry out to Him. I called out to my children and their precious spouses who pray with me and for me (and I know so many dear family members and friends who continue to pray for us).
Tiffany reminded me that on the day her Daddy died she asked me, "How are you ever going to make it without Daddy?" She said that I responded, "I have Jesus. He's right here with me. I have Jesus." I can hardly remember what I said that day, but I am thankful He has been with me every step of the way.
I thank anyone who would continue to remember us in their prayers as I covet those prayers for me and our family. I pray today for those who have lost loved ones.
I think God is doing a new thing in me where prayer is concerned. I know He is! Oh God, thank you for teaching us to pray and for the examples in the Word of those who prayed and who also asked for prayer. We really need each other, don't we?
Wow mom, what a profound and powerful blog. Having you around is an inspiration and powerful testimony to Jen and I. I cherish your faith not only because it's righteous but because it is REAL. Your authentic love and pursuit of Jesus in the midst of the worst pain shines in this dark world. Thank you for showing me Jesus
ReplyDeleteI love you Marm! I'm so glad you are here, to have you to cry with! Tears that we hold in at times that only come out when I'm with you, in the safe presence of my mommy. Love you, feel for you and am inspired by you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jen and Benji, for having me in your home at this time. Thank you to all of my children for opening your hearts and your homes in such loving, caring ways and providing a safe harbor for me. Thank you for laughing and crying and praying with me....for your loss is huge and I know it. Love you all! Let's keep looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our Faith.
ReplyDeleteI love you, Chrissy. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You glorify our Lord and Savior in such a precious way.
ReplyDeleteI love you Chrissy and I have to remind myself that I am not alone that Jesus is always with me. I also have to remember that Johnny is happy and in a good place and I am being selfish by wanting him back here with me. I love you and you are such an inspiration to so many people, you just don't know. Love you. Joy
ReplyDeletelonely.... a feeling that passes through...
ReplyDeletebut not alone... our comforter and friend STAYS...
"I will never leave you nor forsake you" He says.
Emily, I wear a bracelet almost everyday with those exact words written on it. So good to be reminded of our Lord's presence in our lives.
ReplyDelete