Regrets and Encouragement

There are regrets I have in my life and I am thankful for the grace of God and my husband as well.  He was a chaplain in the Air Force and would deal with people who were walking through very difficult events in their life. When he came home at night, I loved to greet him at the door or at noon I would meet him on base and go to lunch with him. He always made me feel like that was the best part of his day, coming home and spending time with me.  

There is one particular thing that I did that I wish I could go back and change. Politics always interested me but in the last five years (maybe more) of our life together, I became a political "junkie" of sorts. I was pretty bad. I am one who loves to sew and quilt and as I would be working on some quilt or creation, I would often listen to "Talk Radio". I would get all engrossed in the big major political event or build-up to the next election and it filled my thoughts. It embarrasses me now to think of it. (I believe we need to know what is happening but I was over the top). Anyone who was my close friend or family member at that time will remember getting the latest political news or tidbit from me, always trying to keep everyone informed about the latest breaking political story.  

I would tell Lonnie the latest news as we reviewed our days together, "Did you hear so-and-so did this or said this?" Lonnie was not able to tell me many of his stories and conversations because he was a chaplain and there is the confidentiality issue. I remember Lonnie saying tenderly that I might be spending too much time on politics and that I was taking up many hours of my day worrying about things that I could not change. He encouraged me to pray and write letters and support causes I believed in but thought I should not invest so much time to it. He was right.  

So now I want to bring you up to this past week. I spent time with a precious young lady who is walking through great anguish and difficulty. She asked if she could come and meet with me. I was at work and I love having my Bible on my phone but I needed to have a "real" Bible, one where I could turn the pages and look for verses. My Bible was at home so I ran downstairs to my friend's office where there was a small pile of Bibles in the Lost and Found. I quickly picked up a Bible and carried it back upstairs.  

When I opened the front cover of the Bible I saw these words: Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I was needing encouragement. I desired and prayed that I would be able to share something that would bring comfort and strength to this beautiful young woman. 

I was stunned.  This is why. After Lonnie died, my son Jeremy went to my husband's office in Germany and he "randomly" picked up one of Lonnie's Bibles. When Jeremy opened the front cover of the Bible, the only verse that was referenced in that particular Bible was Isaiah 41:10. This was unusual because Lonnie usually referenced many verses on the front and back pages of his Bibles. Jeremy shared this verse at the Memorial Service they had for Lonnie in Germany and it has been a verse of promise for me over these past years of heartbreak and sorrow.  

By finding this Bible with this particular verse written clearly in the front, I knew God had just encouraged me in a way that would be very meaningful to me and I, in turn, would be able to bring His encouragement to this dear friend. This verse all by itself brings me more courage and strength than I could imagine and I prayed that it would minister to my sweet friend as well, more than any words I could have ever put together on my own.

You may wonder why I started with my regrets and then ended with God's encouragement. I am just thankful that God met me with words that would help me on my journey and asked me not to be dismayed (by politics or life events) but to know that He is with me and will strengthen and help me. So, I wish that I could have been more like Jesus when it came to my focus during that period of my life in the years prior to Lonnie's passing. I know God forgives me for using up so much time on things that could weigh me down and distract and He promised that if I "confess my sins He is faithful and just to forgive my sins" (1 John 1:9).  

I remember Lonnie saying to me once and, honestly, it makes perfect sense to me now, "I remember meeting that sweet little carefree girl from Montana. I just don't want you to be burdened down by the cares of the world." Lonnie was right. It's amazing how a drastic event in your life can bring such clarity.  

My prayer is that I will be an encourager and that I will fill my heart and mind with things that really can bring help and courage to others. I am thankful that God is our Awesome Encourager! The Best!