Family Walks

A while back I was asked to speak for a small group up in Washington. They wanted me to share how we coped with being in the military, moving and family life. My post on Choices also came from  the preparation I did for that meeting.

As I was preparing, I thought it would be wonderful to get our children's perspectives. I would love to share all of the letters they wrote in response to my query and I believe I shall one of these days. As I was looking back through my journal today I saw the following words regarding Jennifer's letter: "My daughter said she loved family walks."  Jennifer said she loved them because we would just walk and talk and listen.

I remember one walk we took when she came home to Alabama from college in California.  Lonnie, Tiffany, Jennifer and I (and our dog Allie) went walking along the Alabama River at Maxwell AFB.  We started out as a group and then broke up into couples and it was so sweet to look back and see Tiffany and Jennifer arm-in-arm walking together and deep in conversation.

Walking with Lonnie

One of my favorite pictures of Lonnie and me was when we were walking on a rainy day in Virginia (thank you Tiffany for the picture). Everywhere we moved, walking was part of our life.  We loved walking in the forest near our home in Germany, along the Potomac River in DC, at Hickam Harbor in Hawaii, etc... The toughest place to get our walk in was North Dakota but we would even walk there in the winter inside a huge building that contained tennis courts and a walking trail.  Lonnie would run and then join me in a walk around the track. 

Such a sweet family memory and tradition! Dreams for the future and events of the day were discussed and sometimes maybe nothing of consequence but the time spent together was priceless. Thankfully, our children are spending time on precious walks and talks with their families and I have the privilege of joining them as well!  Lonnie would like that! 

Oh the walks Lonnie must be having now!  Lonnie is experiencing the words of the hymn "In the Garden" in an awesome way (and I am in a different way):  "He walks with me and He talks with me and He tells me I am His own and the joy we share as we tarry there none other has ever known." Thank you, Lord, for walking and talking with us as we continue our journey here on earth.  

Our family is growing....we need double strollers now!

Walking and playing frisbee golf

Off they go!

Words Fitly Spoken

Our little Jason

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."  Proverbs 25:11 



I received two messages recently from our son, Jason, and they touched my heart and came at just the right time.  They came seemingly "out of the blue!"


The first was five days ago:  "I want you to be full of joy and love all the days of your life!"  


The second came today:  "You are the woman God created you to be.  You are His precious daughter and He loves you dearly.  Live with freedom and joy." 


Words fitly spoken!  Such encouragement!  Thank you!


I am so grateful for our children and their precious spouses who encourage me all the time.  They are all blessings and gifts from God.  

Crying Like a Baby

I have been incredibly blessed to be with our children as they are welcoming precious little babies into their families. It hardly seems possible that God would bless us in such amazing ways with these precious new lives.  I also rejoice and admire our children for the way they have walked in faith and trust in the Lord through the past couple of years.


The other day I found myself crying like a baby.  It just hit me afresh!  Lonnie is not coming home from a deployment.  I was driving back from the airport after dropping off three precious little grandsons and their mommy. The car went from being full of life and chatter and activity to....me....in my sweet little Ford Focus.


I decided to drive by the ocean to see the sunset and saw couples walking together.  It's easy sometimes to just start feeling sorry for yourself.  The awesome husband God gave me is not with me now to walk hand-in-hand and enjoy the sounds of the ocean and the beautiful skies and, most of all, our children and their children.


But then, I remember the precious days we spent together and thank God for the memories of days gone by and for the memories our children's families will make together in the future.  And their Daddy is present in their stories, laughter, and remembrances.


So, I cried out to God who was with me in my pain, cried pretty much the rest of the day and I knew that I was not alone.....I may be lonely for Lonnie but I am never alone. God is with me.  I thank Him for that and for letting me sob and cry out to Him. I called out to my children and their precious spouses who pray with me and for me (and I know so many dear family members and friends who continue to pray for us).


Tiffany reminded me that on the day her Daddy died she asked me, "How are you ever going to make it without Daddy?"  She said that I responded, "I have Jesus.  He's right here with me.  I have Jesus." I can hardly remember what I said that day, but I am thankful He has been with me every step of the way.


I thank anyone who would continue to remember us in their prayers as I covet those prayers for me and our family.  I pray today for those who have lost loved ones.


I think God is doing a new thing in me where prayer is concerned. I know He is!  Oh God, thank you for teaching us to pray and for the examples in the Word of those who prayed and who also asked for prayer. We really need each other, don't we?  

Where Do You Live?

"Where do you live?"  It's a simple question and one that has always been easy to answer...it was on or near an Air Force base somewhere in the world.  But now it is different.


As I have gone through the last year and a half, I have been asked this question in many different settings.  Where do you live?  I explain that I have been living with our children and their families in various locations around the US (they live on the East Coast, Northwest, Southwest and in the middle of the country).


Our children are having babies and it was on the occasion of the birth of baby Jubilee when I was asked this question twice while Jen was in the hospital.  First, a doctor asked me, "Where do you live?"  I explained that I had been up north staying with our son and his wife as they had just had a baby boy.  He pressed, "But where do you live?"  I kind of took a deep breath and then explained that my husband had passed away overseas and since that time I had been staying with our children.

As we were leaving the hospital the next day, the attending nurse asked me the question.  I was trying to keep the focus on our sweet little baby girl coming home with her mommy and daddy.  But she asked the question a second time, so I briefly explained my situation and then was able to take the time to talk about my amazing husband and how God had blessed us with almost 32 years of marriage. I told her that I know some people never get to experience the kind of relationship and life that I have been able to have with my precious Lonnie (and I never want to take that for granted).  I also said that I know the Lord is going to be with me in  the days ahead.


As Benji drove up with the car and Jennifer and her sweet daughters were loaded up in the car, the nurse turned to me before I left and said, "You are going to be just fine."


I realized that God gave me an opportunity with this simple question to tell of His blessings and goodness to me.  I was able to share about my Lonnie.  Truly I can say that God has been good to me and I mean it with all of my heart.  I thank God for children who have opened their homes to me and made me feel so loved.  I am thankful for precious friends who have done the same.


Someday it may be easier to answer that question again, but for now.....I'm working on my answer.  

A Letter from Jeremy on the 4th of July

Hello Family!

Ponder this on a most special and treasured day that we Barkers are blessed to celebrate today:

"Alex Wojciechowocz's house is set on a hilltop looking out over the Atlantic. He designed the house himself, and he has a large, handsome den with a fireplace and a desk where he handles his chores as president of the NFL Alumni Association. He has a hedge of roses, which he tends, and a rock garden and a swimming pool and a telescope aimed at the ocean, and he seems to lead a very pleasant life. As I left his home, I couldn't help thinking that perhaps Vince had a place like this in mind, a place where someday, when he stopped pushing himself, when he stopped driving so hard, he could finally relax and enjoy himself and his family." (Taken from Jerry Kramer's book entitled Lombardi: Winning is the only thing).

I share this because as I was reading this initially I was saddened, thinking of the times ahead that I could have had with my father. I envisioned something similar as described above that would make up the scene for a place that we as a family could have lived "happily ever after" with Dad at the helm. And then I got it. I got the big picture.

Alex Wojciechowicz was a freshman at Fordham University who followed in the footsteps of, and learned how to carry himself because of, Vince Lombardi. They were teammates on Fordham University's football team in the 30's. Alex was interviewed about his recollections of life as a teammate of Vince Lombardi following Vince's passing at the young age of 57 years.

Through my reading, it is no surprise to me that Dad too must have really been impressed by Vince Lombardi. I found it almost funny how similar some of the traits that Vince drove to embody were core characteristics that Dad effortlessly lived by: Athleticism, Scholastics, Citizenship, and his Faith were all at Dad's center.

Why am I sharing this? Well, this book is comprised of many accounts of Vince's character and persona. Our lives, and all those who knew Dad, and those who will hear of Dad, will have been better because of his testimony and story. We get to share a story of perseverance and faith and all I can imagine that is a life of abundance in the blessings that matter most.

Although it seems unfair that we won't get to see Dad's smile, share a laugh, or learn something through his conversation, we will always have our telescope by the sea to look through. His life, the way he lived, and Who he lived for, will always lead us to a see things in a better light. I think it's great how Alex's house is described above. It is my desire that our house (or family) will always be a source of hope, a mirror of grace, and a place of comfort for all those who enter. From the babies of my generation, to those of the next, Dad's example will mark our future. I am glad for that.

I love you guys!

Happy Fourth!

Jeremy

(Pictured above: Lonnie with his baby Jeremy and his first gift to him. Jeremy still has that football.)

Jubilee

Benji and Jen have a new little addition to their family. Their baby girl Jubilee was born at the end of June and we are filled with joy and wonderment at this precious little gift from God. What a miracle! We thank all who prayed for Jennifer and baby as she experienced some complications at the end of her pregnancy. Both mommy and baby are healthy and happy!

Her name is Jubilee Lania and she is a beautiful girl just like her happy, full-of-life, big sister Zoe.

Jubilee means joy, celebration, restoration and redemption. Jubilee comes from their family word of the year--Joy! Joy, not having joy but learning joy in their circumstances. Right after finding out Jen was pregnant, many of the really tough things she was dealing with went away (difficulty sleeping and terrible dreams). This is a year of Jubilee for the family.

Her middle name Lania (pronounced Lon-nie'-a) means noble and sacred to God. The inspiration for Lania comes from Jen's Daddy Lonnie which means "heavenly warrior."

We celebrate our Jubilee!

The Journey--

While in Washington state, I was driving from the dentist's office and saw a sign at an auto repair shop that went something like this: "It's not just the destination, the journey is important too." I contemplated turning around to get the exact words but I didn't so this is a paraphrase. I wrote these words on a piece of paper and have been mulling over the idea ever since.

As I drove down to Southern California, I knew it was very important for me to know my destination and to have a plan. Our journey in life can go in many different ways and take unplanned turns and curves as well, but the destination has to always be before us.

When my sister and I drove through Oregon on our trip to Washington in February, I didn't plan on having a flat tire but I did. It didn't halt our progress completely, just slowed it down a bit. The destination was ahead and we continued on. I saw a gorgeous mountain to the east of me on my way through California last week, pulled over to witness its beauty and thanked God for His creation and then moved on. 

Sometimes things happen along our journey and it is with God's help that we continue on to our destination. It helps to know that ultimately there is no place I would rather be at the end of my life here on earth than in heaven with my Lord Jesus Christ. He has made the way for me (for us) to get there and His Holy Spirit is here to help us along our way.

When I arrived here in California, Jen and I were talking about where I would eventually live and find a home. In the conversation, she said these words, "It's not only about the destination, it's about the journey!" I laughed, went to my room and brought out the piece of paper with those similar words written on it and showed it to her. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something!

Then Jen read the following verse to me. Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

She pointed out that eternity has already begun for us and our destination is intertwined with our journey. Wise words, little one! Wise words!


Now my little update (April 17, 2012):  Later on in the fall of last year on a journey with my friend Terri, our car was hit by a flying piece of cement siding. It came right at us and shattered our windshield.  Sometimes life can have setbacks like the flat tire and other times we feel like we have been hit so hard that we may not recover. The truth of Psalm 23 rings out..."Even though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff they comfort me." We are not alone on this journey that can have pitfalls and bumps along the way. We are comforted and guided by our Savior.  


Back in June 2011 we had no idea that my journey would bring me back to California where I would have a home, get a wonderful job and be planted here. I actually was thinking that I might end up somewhere else.  I thank the Lord that He has been with me on this unexpected journey and my confidence and my security is in Him.  I thank the Lord for my family and friends who have joined me and encouraged me on my journey.  


Tonight I was reading from the book "A Grace Disguised" written by Jerry Sittser who lost his mother, his wife and his young daughter in a car accident.  (Thank you Lola for this book). Professor Sittser said, "My confidence in God is somehow quieter but stronger.  I feel little pressure to impress God or prove myself to Him; yet I want to serve Him with all my heart and strength.  My life is full of bounty, even as I continue to feel the pain of loss. Grace is transforming me and it is wonderful.  I have slowly learned where God belongs and have allowed Him to assume that place--at the center of life rather than at the periphery."  


I liked what he had to say. I pray that grace is transforming me. Lord, as I journey through this life, I also want you at the center of my life. Thank you for my husband who wanted that same thing while we walked this life together and thank you for reminding that I am not alone. You are with me every step of the way.  Help me to keep my eyes on You.