Journeys in September

September, what an amazing month!  It started with a birthday party for Zoe, a journey with my best friend Terri to visit her brother at Camp Hope in Connecticut, on to New Jersey to see Jeremy and Crystal and my three handsome grandsons there, a side-trip to Amish country in Pennsylvania, a visit with  Susie and her family, a beautiful wedding back in California, another journey with Jen and her girls to attend a lovely wedding for my niece up in Washington and then back home again by way of my brother Stephen's house.  (And that is all in one sentence!)   

We experienced joy, anticipation, thankfulness for friends and family, a splash, a smash and towards the end a sigh of relief. Throughout the month I was again reminded how precious and fragile life is. And as my adorable daughter-in-law Sunnie jokingly asked me, "We needed to be reminded of that?"  I don't think so, Sunnie, but we were and I am not sure why?  Questions.  

Zoe had a joy-filled, beautifully decorated birthday party complete with tutus, pompoms, princesses and cake pops made by her mommy. 

Christine, Terri and Christina

The next day I flew to Atlanta (thank God for safe flights) and Terri and I embarked on a wonderful journey up to Camp Hope where I was privileged to meet her dear friend, Christina. Terri had told me so many stories about this lively young lady and I was blessed to meet her.  She never loses a game or if she does Terri wins. (I had a bad month where games were concerned. Next time! Oh, I think I did win a game of Rook up at Jason's house! Woohoo!) She does everything to make a person as comfortable as possible and her Russian accent is the cutest.  She works at Camp Hope in the summer and then goes back home to Russia and ministers to orphans and children in need. She is an extremely loving and gifted young lady.  

She treated us to a ride on a Sea-Doo and assured us that we would not get wet.  We didn't (well, she and I got splashed just a little but not Terri) until the very end when we all "gracefully" tumbled into the surprisingly warm Connecticut waters. It was hilarious! The splash! 

We had sweet times of walking, talking, going to rain-soaked Brimfield, worked on projects or just fed the birds and marveled at the beautiful skies. We left Camp Hope on 9/11 and attended a wonderful church service on our way to Jeremy and Crystal's new home.

We were so thankful to spend time with Jeremy and Crystal and their precious family. I think they have their hot water turned on now! :) We had fun walking to the ocean just blocks away, playing ball, seeing Logan and Elijah go off to school and come back again, learned another card game which Terri won, loved experiencing their family together and watching the boys eat red ice cream (they choose ice cream for its color). Thanks, Jersey Barkers, for a great time! We love you!

Eventually, we headed south after visiting Pennsylvania and picking up some treasures in what I affectionately call "Amishland."  We love to visit there. We were blessed to see Susie and her family. We were treated to delicious food, great fellowship, a private concert by Ann, and a trip to a very cool fabric store the next day, oh and Susie's famous bread! Yummy!

Our next goal was to get to Atlanta so I could fly out the next morning back to California.  We had driven maybe 30 minutes when the "smash" happened. A utility van with ladders on top suddenly had some cement siding boards catch in the wind and two of them flew off and came right toward us. I was able to dodge one of them but the other one hit us directly in the front window.  


Thankfully, Terri and I were both fine, not a scratch on us, but the window was shattered and we were stunned. We called Mike, took pictures and waited on the side of the road for the highway patrolman to come. He deemed it an "incident" not an "accident"! We were so grateful for God's presence with us and that we had worn sunglasses that morning and had even joked about them when we put them on. (Life is precious!) The man from the van was very helpful to get us to a glass shop to have the window replaced and within two to three hours we were back on the road, watching every truck or vehicle that was hauling anything and thanking God for His protection. We arrived in Atlanta at 2:30 a.m. and I flew out early that morning.  Terri drove safely back home. Thank God! 

Lunch with Uncle Stephen

After celebrating Nicole and Andrew's incredibly beautiful wedding, Jen and I took off for Washington for my niece  Lindsay and Jeff's wedding. We had a safe journey to Washington and we stopped along the way to enjoy lunch with my little brother Stephen.  


We enjoyed the children's playing together and fun times with Jason and his family, Tiffany and Isaiah. We had sweet times with Lola's family and my baby sister Karen. (We had a great time with Steve and Kristi and their children and grandchildren on the way back to San Diego. Thanks to all for your love and kindness to us!) 

Jen and five little ones with their Zobo Dolls

At the rehearsal dinner little Zoe started running a fever, was very hot and lethargic. She had a very croupy cough. I was holding her and she suddenly began to jerk and tighten her hands and legs. I motioned for Jen and Jason to come out into the hallway and she was full-on having a seizure which later we learned was called a febrile seizure. She was not responding to her mommy when she would talk to her, just looking off into the distance. 


We were in a fancy restaurant lobby area calling out to Jesus to heal her and stripping off her clothes to cool her body. The  people working at the restaurant were so helpful, giving us cold compresses, cold water bottles to put on her back and doing whatever they could to assist. They called 911 and the emergency technicians soon came and Zoe started responding. I had never experienced anything like that with our four children and our sweet daughter, our Jason and I felt helpless except to call out to Jesus and try to do everything that people were calling out for us to do. Jen was in anguish and my heart was breaking for her and her precious Benji who flew up to Washington the next day to be with his wife and daughters.

Thank God, (sigh of relief), Zoe is back to her liveliness, improving everyday, cough is dissipating and she is making us laugh and causing us to be filled with thanksgiving. Zoe means life and we are reminded again how precious life is. Jen and I talked today and wondered how many times God protects us from things and we are totally unaware. 


Zoe's going to dance class today! I'm praising Jesus!

So, Lord, we will trust You for You hold it all together. You are the Giver of Life, You love us and You are with us.  We will trust You for our hope is in You.


Our September journeys were made complete with signs of God's presence, protection, love, healing and hope everywhere even as we experienced fear and shock. I am thankful He is always with us. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5). Some things we just don't understand.


"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope" (Romans 15:13 ESV).

Tiffany's List

Blocks made by Grandaddy and set up by Jen and Benji and Zoe last Christmas

Our daughter, Jennifer, and I have been talking about how so often the seemingly small things in life are what really become the big things when we look back.  We are finding that to be the case with our precious Lonnie. Sweet little memories tucked away that just come out of nowhere! These memories bring us laughter and tears. He really was faithful in the "small things" as well as amazing in the big things of life.  


Funny little occurrences also come to mind like walking through Walmart and hearing the words:  "Lawn and Garden, Lawn and Garden" and Lonnie and I would look at each other thinking they are calling "Lonnie Barker, Lonnie Barker." This always made us smile. He would play with his wedding ring when he was driving, take it off, twirl it, pretend like he lost it....and then I'd see that smirky smile which let me know he was just kidding! 


Lonnie made blocks (shown above) for the grandchildren and these little blocks are treasures to us now.  He made the first batch of blocks for Tiffany 23 years ago when she turned one year old.  We have a picture of our children sitting around the table painting blocks. He would spend so much time sanding the blocks for our little ones, making sure and hoping they would never get slivers. 

Even the little ones notice sweet things: I was helping Jen make cake pops for Zoe's birthday.  I took my rings off while doing this task. About half an hour later, Zoe says, "Granmommy, where is your ring and grandaddy's ring? I wear Lonnie's ring and mine above it to keep it on my finger.  She noticed they were not on my finger. It was really sweet to me. She loves that I wear them and it just seems right to me.      

Tiffany wrote a message to Jen on her birthday and it shows this to be true as well.  I think we are learning it is so important to be faithful in the "small things"....because they become what we cherish!  The seemingly insignificant word or kindness or funny event brings us joy or comfort that keeps on going!  


I loved Tiffany's list she wrote for her sister and she gave me permission to put it on my blog.  

For my sister on her birthday, 28 memories with you

1.  When you accidentally set a firework off in the house.

2.  When I accidentally stepped on your wedding dress and made you fall down in the sand.

3.  When Dad used to drop us off for school and sing as loudly as he could while we ran away completely embarrassed.

4.  When you showed me a picture of your new friend named "Benji." It was the only picture you had at the time.  He looked like he was trying to pull a palm tree out of the ground.  

5. When you got old shoes from the antique store and they kept falling apart.

6. When we ran around in cowboy boots scared of the squirrel that got into our house.

7.  When we made that music video in Guam.

8.  Dipping candlesticks into different colored wax.

9.  When I wore your new clothes without asking.  :/

10. When you used to let me hang out with you and your friends. I remember that disco ball in Steph's car.

11. When we had a big curtain down the middle of the room.  My side had teddy bears, your side had glow-in-the-dark stars.

12. When you fainted at Six Flags and I cried because of what happened right before that. ha.

13. One time I was sitting in the balcony at church and I watched you greeting everyone with a bright smile and so much love.  I admired you. I still do.

14. When we used to be ice skaters spinning around in the living room in our socks while Jason and Jeremy were the announcers.

15. Remember pocky in Korea?

16. When you were in labor with Zoe, someone accidentally called me and all I could hear was, "Breathe, just keep breathing!" I started crying because I thought you couldn't breathe. :)

17. When we used to swing dance.

18. When we made Green Bay Packer cheerleading costumes.

19. Remember when we got that phone call from Daddy while he was in Korea? He told us we were moving to Hawaii...pure joy.

20. Speaking of Hawaii...plumeria.

21. When we saw Harrison Ford on the pier.  Daddy stood there in his hat and Hawaiian shirt, camera around his neck, trying to get a pic. (Side note from mom: He got a good picture  and with Harrison Ford's permission).

22. When we used to collect keys from antique shops.

23. When I accidentally bumped your car into the landlord's truck.  Wait, did I ever tell you about that?  um.... anyway...

24. When Mommy used to braid our hair into angel braids.

25. When we used to write messages to each other under our bed.

26. When you introduced me to Swedish Fish.

27. When you painted a picture of that house I fell in love with in England, the one with the English garden.

28. When we became best friends, somewhere between all of these memories and years, you became my very best friend in the whole world. I love you, Jennifer Michelle, you are the best sister in the world.

Family Walks

A while back I was asked to speak for a small group up in Washington. They wanted me to share how we coped with being in the military, moving and family life. My post on Choices also came from  the preparation I did for that meeting.

As I was preparing, I thought it would be wonderful to get our children's perspectives. I would love to share all of the letters they wrote in response to my query and I believe I shall one of these days. As I was looking back through my journal today I saw the following words regarding Jennifer's letter: "My daughter said she loved family walks."  Jennifer said she loved them because we would just walk and talk and listen.

I remember one walk we took when she came home to Alabama from college in California.  Lonnie, Tiffany, Jennifer and I (and our dog Allie) went walking along the Alabama River at Maxwell AFB.  We started out as a group and then broke up into couples and it was so sweet to look back and see Tiffany and Jennifer arm-in-arm walking together and deep in conversation.

Walking with Lonnie

One of my favorite pictures of Lonnie and me was when we were walking on a rainy day in Virginia (thank you Tiffany for the picture). Everywhere we moved, walking was part of our life.  We loved walking in the forest near our home in Germany, along the Potomac River in DC, at Hickam Harbor in Hawaii, etc... The toughest place to get our walk in was North Dakota but we would even walk there in the winter inside a huge building that contained tennis courts and a walking trail.  Lonnie would run and then join me in a walk around the track. 

Such a sweet family memory and tradition! Dreams for the future and events of the day were discussed and sometimes maybe nothing of consequence but the time spent together was priceless. Thankfully, our children are spending time on precious walks and talks with their families and I have the privilege of joining them as well!  Lonnie would like that! 

Oh the walks Lonnie must be having now!  Lonnie is experiencing the words of the hymn "In the Garden" in an awesome way (and I am in a different way):  "He walks with me and He talks with me and He tells me I am His own and the joy we share as we tarry there none other has ever known." Thank you, Lord, for walking and talking with us as we continue our journey here on earth.  

Our family is growing....we need double strollers now!

Walking and playing frisbee golf

Off they go!

Words Fitly Spoken

Our little Jason

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."  Proverbs 25:11 



I received two messages recently from our son, Jason, and they touched my heart and came at just the right time.  They came seemingly "out of the blue!"


The first was five days ago:  "I want you to be full of joy and love all the days of your life!"  


The second came today:  "You are the woman God created you to be.  You are His precious daughter and He loves you dearly.  Live with freedom and joy." 


Words fitly spoken!  Such encouragement!  Thank you!


I am so grateful for our children and their precious spouses who encourage me all the time.  They are all blessings and gifts from God.  

Crying Like a Baby

I have been incredibly blessed to be with our children as they are welcoming precious little babies into their families. It hardly seems possible that God would bless us in such amazing ways with these precious new lives.  I also rejoice and admire our children for the way they have walked in faith and trust in the Lord through the past couple of years.


The other day I found myself crying like a baby.  It just hit me afresh!  Lonnie is not coming home from a deployment.  I was driving back from the airport after dropping off three precious little grandsons and their mommy. The car went from being full of life and chatter and activity to....me....in my sweet little Ford Focus.


I decided to drive by the ocean to see the sunset and saw couples walking together.  It's easy sometimes to just start feeling sorry for yourself.  The awesome husband God gave me is not with me now to walk hand-in-hand and enjoy the sounds of the ocean and the beautiful skies and, most of all, our children and their children.


But then, I remember the precious days we spent together and thank God for the memories of days gone by and for the memories our children's families will make together in the future.  And their Daddy is present in their stories, laughter, and remembrances.


So, I cried out to God who was with me in my pain, cried pretty much the rest of the day and I knew that I was not alone.....I may be lonely for Lonnie but I am never alone. God is with me.  I thank Him for that and for letting me sob and cry out to Him. I called out to my children and their precious spouses who pray with me and for me (and I know so many dear family members and friends who continue to pray for us).


Tiffany reminded me that on the day her Daddy died she asked me, "How are you ever going to make it without Daddy?"  She said that I responded, "I have Jesus.  He's right here with me.  I have Jesus." I can hardly remember what I said that day, but I am thankful He has been with me every step of the way.


I thank anyone who would continue to remember us in their prayers as I covet those prayers for me and our family.  I pray today for those who have lost loved ones.


I think God is doing a new thing in me where prayer is concerned. I know He is!  Oh God, thank you for teaching us to pray and for the examples in the Word of those who prayed and who also asked for prayer. We really need each other, don't we?  

Where Do You Live?

"Where do you live?"  It's a simple question and one that has always been easy to answer...it was on or near an Air Force base somewhere in the world.  But now it is different.


As I have gone through the last year and a half, I have been asked this question in many different settings.  Where do you live?  I explain that I have been living with our children and their families in various locations around the US (they live on the East Coast, Northwest, Southwest and in the middle of the country).


Our children are having babies and it was on the occasion of the birth of baby Jubilee when I was asked this question twice while Jen was in the hospital.  First, a doctor asked me, "Where do you live?"  I explained that I had been up north staying with our son and his wife as they had just had a baby boy.  He pressed, "But where do you live?"  I kind of took a deep breath and then explained that my husband had passed away overseas and since that time I had been staying with our children.

As we were leaving the hospital the next day, the attending nurse asked me the question.  I was trying to keep the focus on our sweet little baby girl coming home with her mommy and daddy.  But she asked the question a second time, so I briefly explained my situation and then was able to take the time to talk about my amazing husband and how God had blessed us with almost 32 years of marriage. I told her that I know some people never get to experience the kind of relationship and life that I have been able to have with my precious Lonnie (and I never want to take that for granted).  I also said that I know the Lord is going to be with me in  the days ahead.


As Benji drove up with the car and Jennifer and her sweet daughters were loaded up in the car, the nurse turned to me before I left and said, "You are going to be just fine."


I realized that God gave me an opportunity with this simple question to tell of His blessings and goodness to me.  I was able to share about my Lonnie.  Truly I can say that God has been good to me and I mean it with all of my heart.  I thank God for children who have opened their homes to me and made me feel so loved.  I am thankful for precious friends who have done the same.


Someday it may be easier to answer that question again, but for now.....I'm working on my answer.  

A Letter from Jeremy on the 4th of July

Hello Family!

Ponder this on a most special and treasured day that we Barkers are blessed to celebrate today:

"Alex Wojciechowocz's house is set on a hilltop looking out over the Atlantic. He designed the house himself, and he has a large, handsome den with a fireplace and a desk where he handles his chores as president of the NFL Alumni Association. He has a hedge of roses, which he tends, and a rock garden and a swimming pool and a telescope aimed at the ocean, and he seems to lead a very pleasant life. As I left his home, I couldn't help thinking that perhaps Vince had a place like this in mind, a place where someday, when he stopped pushing himself, when he stopped driving so hard, he could finally relax and enjoy himself and his family." (Taken from Jerry Kramer's book entitled Lombardi: Winning is the only thing).

I share this because as I was reading this initially I was saddened, thinking of the times ahead that I could have had with my father. I envisioned something similar as described above that would make up the scene for a place that we as a family could have lived "happily ever after" with Dad at the helm. And then I got it. I got the big picture.

Alex Wojciechowicz was a freshman at Fordham University who followed in the footsteps of, and learned how to carry himself because of, Vince Lombardi. They were teammates on Fordham University's football team in the 30's. Alex was interviewed about his recollections of life as a teammate of Vince Lombardi following Vince's passing at the young age of 57 years.

Through my reading, it is no surprise to me that Dad too must have really been impressed by Vince Lombardi. I found it almost funny how similar some of the traits that Vince drove to embody were core characteristics that Dad effortlessly lived by: Athleticism, Scholastics, Citizenship, and his Faith were all at Dad's center.

Why am I sharing this? Well, this book is comprised of many accounts of Vince's character and persona. Our lives, and all those who knew Dad, and those who will hear of Dad, will have been better because of his testimony and story. We get to share a story of perseverance and faith and all I can imagine that is a life of abundance in the blessings that matter most.

Although it seems unfair that we won't get to see Dad's smile, share a laugh, or learn something through his conversation, we will always have our telescope by the sea to look through. His life, the way he lived, and Who he lived for, will always lead us to a see things in a better light. I think it's great how Alex's house is described above. It is my desire that our house (or family) will always be a source of hope, a mirror of grace, and a place of comfort for all those who enter. From the babies of my generation, to those of the next, Dad's example will mark our future. I am glad for that.

I love you guys!

Happy Fourth!

Jeremy

(Pictured above: Lonnie with his baby Jeremy and his first gift to him. Jeremy still has that football.)