The Back of the Book

Do you ever peek at the back of the book to check out what is going to happen when things get tense in the middle?  

I really enjoy reading different kinds of books but have only read a few novels in the past few years. So as I was leaving on a recent trip, I told Jen that I wanted to read two books on the plane rides and guess what? I did it.    

I like to know that everything is going to work out in a story and I really want happy endings. I have been known to peek at the back of the book when I feel unsure in the middle of the story (which I think would cause some of my friends much consternation). At times when I have watched movies, I have begged people to tell me if the star of the movie makes it or what the outcome of a certain character is. Lonnie never wanted to know what was going to happen ahead of time because he liked to let the story unfold as it went along. It pretty much ruined the movie for him if someone gave him too much information about the plot and characters.  

I was thinking about this on my plane trip while I was peeking at the back of the book to make sure that the hero and heroine survived and that justice overcame evil. Once I knew all was going to work out in the end, then I went back to the middle of the book where they were embroiled with troubles and difficulties.  

Later on my trip, I thought about my compulsion to check the back of the book. Why am I like that? Why do I need that assurance that everything is going to work out and be set aright?   

I wondered if I were to read a narrative about my life, would it have a happy ending or read like a tragedy instead. As I pondered this thought, I remembered that the most important story is not mine but it is His Story.  

The last words at the back of the Book, the Bible, ring out: "Surely I am coming soon.'  Amen.  Come Lord Jesus! The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all.  Amen." This thing I do know, the Author of this Book has assured us that good will prevail, our Savior will return, our tears will be no more, we will have joy that we cannot imagine and His grace will be with us.  

It is so good to know that our God has promised to be present with us as we walk through our journey here on earth and experience things we cannot imagine or comprehend, both fabulously wonderful and sometimes excruciatingly difficult.  We may shed tears as we travel along but He is with us and we have read the back of the book.  It will be a very good ending!  Jesus also said that as we walk with Him in obedience and abide in His love, His joy will remain in us.  He said that "these things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full" (John 15:11).  

How good it is to know that God is with us and this promise of His presence brings great assurance and hope. We are blessed to be a part of His Story as we walk with Him through this life. There will be a glorious, amazing ending and then again, it will usher us into a new beginning of an awesome epilogue that will never end!  

Once again, I am glad I have taken a peek at the back of the Book!  

A Letter of Encouragement

Lonnie when he was deployed to Kuwait

Pastor Dan had a great sermon on Sunday and one of the points was on encouragement.  After I came home from church I was looking through a box of Lonnie's that contained  pictures and letters from his times of deployment to Korea, Kuwait and Iraq.  I found a letter from someone who knew Lonnie on one of his deployments and it blessed my heart to read his words and also brought tears to my eyes: 


"11 June, 1996
Dear Lonnie,


'And we urge you brethren to recognize those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake...'  (I Thessalonians 5:12-13).  


And maybe not just for their work's sake but because they're so easy to love.  I was very excited when I heard you were coming.  I knew we were getting a chaplain that truly loved the Lord and knew the power of His Spirit.  I knew it would make a huge difference in our experience here.  I also knew, as a pastor or chaplain, your world can become devoid of any encouragement or consolation.  The Lord works in men in places like this and Satan knows that and, like any strong enemy, he will attack the center of gravity for our efforts, namely you.  


My prayer for you throughout our time here was for protection from that.  Hebrew 13:17 says pastors 'watch out for your souls as for those who must give account.'  My account of my pastor here would be that he inspired me by his sincere, genuine, unashamed love for His Lord and for those under his care.  This is both my thanks and love to you and my encouragement for you.  


Love your brother in Christ, 
Mike......"


Mike, your letter blessed me today and I thank you for your prayers for my husband during this time of ministry in Kuwait. 


Thank you to all who pray for and encourage their pastors and shepherds.  It is so important that we remember to bring  words of encouragement to one another.  I have to say that this letter was a source of encouragement to hear and know that another person was praying specifically for Lonnie during this deployment.  I can't even decipher Mike's last name in the letter to thank him now but I am grateful for his and others words to Lonnie.  


So, someone who was a stranger to me brought a special word of encouragement to my husband. I know this because Lonnie saved this letter in a box that contains very precious items: pictures of his children, audio tapes of our babies, slides from when we were married, quotes from our children as they grew up and said funny or poignant things (just to name a few).  I know many people were praying and there are cards and letters from many others in this special box as well.  


I hope I will remember to bring encouragement to friends, family and strangers I meet along the way.  You never know when a letter or a word that you sent or said might be tucked away in a special place to be remembered and bring blessing to someone's heart.  

Unpacking Boxes

I moved into the new Barker family home on April 18.  It is so weird for me to just say "my home."  Always before I would say "our home."  It really is that because everything I unpack and every piece of furniture brings memories of cherished events or happenings in our lives and the lives of our children.  

Lonnie's notes are some of my most treasured possessions. Pointing people to Jesus was his delight and joy.  His notes in his Bibles, the passages he underlined, and references he wrote on the front and back pages of books and different Bibles are like lifelines to me.  These notes show his heart for the Lord and his desire to share His love.  As a chaplain and a minister, he was called on to be with people during some of the happiest as well as saddest times of their lives.  Weddings, new babies, dedications, celebrations in life, walking with people in difficult situations and dealing with death were all such a part of his calling.  

I found a small presentation he made on dealing with those who are grieving and it is filled with such good words.  In a way, Lonnie is ministering to me through these notes and the thoughts he had made.    

So I sift through his boxes filled with books and look for notes of encouragement and help and I find them.  I never know when I open a box what I will find.  On Monday I opened a box from his office.  He had written notes about his medical care and the date he started taking Zocor.  At the bottom of the paper he wrote three Scripture references regarding healing and encouragement:  
     
     "Acts 3:6 'In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth--walk,' 
     Psalm 95:6,7 '(entire chapter)' 
     Psalm 147:3-5,11,14-16."  

The file that contained his health care and information was entitled "Hope".

He wrote dates of when our children were going to possibly come visit and notes of places he wanted to visit in 2010 when our children came over to Germany and things he wanted to do with them and our grandchildren.  And he wrote notes about places he wanted to take me while in Europe.  I come from a Swedish heritage so he wrote:  "Sweden--for Chris, Rome--Christmas?, London..., Sound of Music--RTT."  

There are so many more precious things I am finding but you know what I am being reminded of once again:  Lonnie's love and his heart for his Lord, his family, the people he worked with and for and life itself.  I am finding treasures that make me cry and that make me smile.  I shared some of these lists Lonnie made with one  of our sons and he texted me these words:  "I love Dad's relationship with Jesus.  So personal, so real, so powerful, so hopeful, so genuine."  

So true, so true!  

Happy Valentine's Day!

My Lonnie was incredibly loving and was very creative at making this day so special. Sometimes he would do simple sweet little things and at other times, big surprises! Our last Valentine's Day together he brought me beautiful roses, an awesome card and took me out to dinner. 

The coffee table on left and buffet to the right

You may say, "That is not so unusual," but one year he brought home a very pretty coffee table. When he was newly in the Air Force and we were at Little Rock AFB, he went to  Squadron Officer's School in Montgomery, Alabama, and we made plans to meet in Memphis, Tennessee, for Valentine's Day weekend. While there, Lonnie found a buffet for our dining room. Such a loving and thoughtful man! Sometimes we did special events and other times he might give me chocolates, flowers and a card.

We loved going to antique stores and junk stores and enjoyed finding little treasures. Sometimes we would just walk through and look for no reason except we enjoyed it...never needed to buy a thing. We would show each other cool things we would find and that was that. Fun!  

Another thing Lonnie loved to do was try to figure out where we were going to live. He always had a map nearby. He also liked to look at houses. It was a desire in his heart for us to find a home that we could settle down in one day when he retired from the Air Force. One of his favorite websites was http://www.oldhouses.com/. He would find a house and say, "Hey honey, come look at this one." There was one huge home with 13 bedrooms in Butte, Montana, that he thought would be perfect for our whole family (of course, he was semi-joking, and yet it was a fun idea...to have all the children and grandchildren together under one roof).

Well, this year, my precious Lonnie has given me rose bushes  and a house to go with them. Because of his wisdom and God's blessing, I was able to find a home near San Diego. With the incredible help of Jennifer and Benji (who looked at many houses until we found this one) and the wonderful support and encouragement from Jeremy and Crystal, Jason and Sunnie, and Tiffany and Zach combined with lots of prayer, escrow is scheduled to close on February 14. A month ago, my realtor Yolanda told me that we should close on Valentine's Day. The response I had in my head was, "Oh, that is amazingly perfect and unbelievable!" I told her later on after I had time to think about it myself. We certainly didn't plan for that to happen. We thought it would be towards the end of February or beginning of March. 

So, this Valentine's Day I want to say thank you to the Lord for His provision and thank you to my Lonnie for taking such good care of me. His loving ways continue on even after he is gone. Thank you to my amazingly loving children for taking care of me over and over again over the past two-plus years.  

I had a dream the other night.  In my dream, I was walking into this new house for the first time and Lonnie was walking beside me. He was so handsome, wearing a very white, white shirt and a pair of crisply ironed jeans; he looked heavenly. It was a precious dream. Lonnie's touch and gifts and love will be seen all through our home and I am forever grateful to the Lord for bringing him into my life. 

As I go forward in this next chapter of my life, I want to always be thankful and count my blessings! Lonnie Bruce Barker, what a blessing you are in my life! Jeremy and Crystal, Jason and Sunnie, Jennifer and Benji, Tiffany and Zach....what would I have done without your love and my "home sweet homes!" And then our ten grandchildren....oh, I am counting my blessings tonight!  And my precious family and friends! I could go on and on...I think I better stop for now.  

Thank you and Happy Valentine's Day!

Some Quotes on a Sunday

"The bigger your view of God, the smaller your problems will seem to you."  (John Lindell, James River Assembly)


"You can do more than pray after you've prayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed." (John Bunyan, quoted by John Lindell in his sermon on Nehemiah)

"We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties."  (Oswald Chambers)


"Heaven is full of answers to prayers for which no one ever bothered to ask." (Billy Graham)


And a saying my daughter, Tiffany, quotes all the time: "Everything you were born to do is impossible....without God."
(Christine Caine)


Lord, help me and teach me to pray.  


A quote from the Apostle Paul:  "Do not be anxious for anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Reflectors of His Glory

 "Arise and shine, for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.  For behold darkness shall cover the earth, and great darkness shall cover the people; but the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you" (Isaiah 60:1,2).

When I graduated from LIFE Bible College "back in the day," each year the graduating class would choose a name and verse. The class name we chose was "Reflectors of His Glory" which came from Isaiah 60:1,2. People were invited to write a song that would correspond with our class theme and verse and the winning song was sung by the class at graduation.

I simply put Isaiah 60:1-2 to music with a slight variation of the words in the verses and used "We are reflectors of His glory" in the chorus.  My song was not chosen by our class but my husband loved that little song.  

As we went into ministry, we pastored in Colorado and Missouri and then went into the Air Force Chaplaincy.  Every now and then Lonnie would preach a sermon that would include this passage of Scripture in it:  "Arise and shine, for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold darkness shall cover the earth...but the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you."

He would come up to me at some point during the week before and ask something like this, "Chrissy, would you mind playing and singing your song 'Reflectors of His Glory' for service on Sunday? I just think it would be a great way to end the sermon during the invitation." 


He was always so sweet about it and my simple little song would be sung once more, much to his delight. I think he liked to give me opportunity to minister alongside him and I love him for that. We moved 11 times by the time our youngest daughter was 17 years old, so he could include this little song a few times in our military ministry and it was never a repeat for the congregations.  

Yesterday I was reading my Life Journal scriptures (I am on my own two-year You Version plan where I push the catch-me-up button when I get behind) and I came to Isaiah 60 and memories flooded back. I wish I could somehow relate the love my husband had for His Savior and his desire to shine forth His Light. It was what he was all about (that and his love for me and our family).


My hope and prayer is that I will reflect the light and glory of the Lord as I continue this journey. I wish Lonnie were here to sing my little song with me...but he's singing alongside the heavenly hosts instead!

Overwhelmed by Our Shepherd's Love

He will tend His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms; He will carry them in His bosom and gently lead those that are with young. 

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand and marked off the heavens with a span, enclosed the dust of the earth in a measure and weighed the mountains in scales and the hills in a balance? Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord, or what man shows him His counsel? Whom did He consult, and who made Him understand? Who taught Him the path of justice and taught Him knowledge and showed Him the way of understanding? 

Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing. 

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:11-14, 26, 28-31 ESV) 

I have read and reread this passage of Scripture over this past month and I am made aware again and again of what an awesome God we have! I have been captivated by these words. Our God knows all, understands all, created all and He is never weary and does not grow faint. He renews our strength as we wait upon Him. 

Our God is with us; He is our rock, our sure foundation. This awesome God who created the stars and the oceans and the mountains desires to be our Shepherd.    

I love this picture of the Shepherd with His sheep, taking care of them and guiding them to where they should go for that day. Daily He is with us, He loves us and cares for us. Daily our amazing Creator God shows His gentleness and love to us and desires to guide us where we should go and to become who He desires us to be. 

The Lord is my Shepherd. I am overwhelmed.