Where Do You Live?

"Where do you live?"  It's a simple question and one that has always been easy to answer...it was on or near an Air Force base somewhere in the world.  But now it is different.


As I have gone through the last year and a half, I have been asked this question in many different settings.  Where do you live?  I explain that I have been living with our children and their families in various locations around the US (they live on the East Coast, Northwest, Southwest and in the middle of the country).


Our children are having babies and it was on the occasion of the birth of baby Jubilee when I was asked this question twice while Jen was in the hospital.  First, a doctor asked me, "Where do you live?"  I explained that I had been up north staying with our son and his wife as they had just had a baby boy.  He pressed, "But where do you live?"  I kind of took a deep breath and then explained that my husband had passed away overseas and since that time I had been staying with our children.

As we were leaving the hospital the next day, the attending nurse asked me the question.  I was trying to keep the focus on our sweet little baby girl coming home with her mommy and daddy.  But she asked the question a second time, so I briefly explained my situation and then was able to take the time to talk about my amazing husband and how God had blessed us with almost 32 years of marriage. I told her that I know some people never get to experience the kind of relationship and life that I have been able to have with my precious Lonnie (and I never want to take that for granted).  I also said that I know the Lord is going to be with me in  the days ahead.


As Benji drove up with the car and Jennifer and her sweet daughters were loaded up in the car, the nurse turned to me before I left and said, "You are going to be just fine."


I realized that God gave me an opportunity with this simple question to tell of His blessings and goodness to me.  I was able to share about my Lonnie.  Truly I can say that God has been good to me and I mean it with all of my heart.  I thank God for children who have opened their homes to me and made me feel so loved.  I am thankful for precious friends who have done the same.


Someday it may be easier to answer that question again, but for now.....I'm working on my answer.  

A Letter from Jeremy on the 4th of July

Hello Family!

Ponder this on a most special and treasured day that we Barkers are blessed to celebrate today:

"Alex Wojciechowocz's house is set on a hilltop looking out over the Atlantic. He designed the house himself, and he has a large, handsome den with a fireplace and a desk where he handles his chores as president of the NFL Alumni Association. He has a hedge of roses, which he tends, and a rock garden and a swimming pool and a telescope aimed at the ocean, and he seems to lead a very pleasant life. As I left his home, I couldn't help thinking that perhaps Vince had a place like this in mind, a place where someday, when he stopped pushing himself, when he stopped driving so hard, he could finally relax and enjoy himself and his family." (Taken from Jerry Kramer's book entitled Lombardi: Winning is the only thing).

I share this because as I was reading this initially I was saddened, thinking of the times ahead that I could have had with my father. I envisioned something similar as described above that would make up the scene for a place that we as a family could have lived "happily ever after" with Dad at the helm. And then I got it. I got the big picture.

Alex Wojciechowicz was a freshman at Fordham University who followed in the footsteps of, and learned how to carry himself because of, Vince Lombardi. They were teammates on Fordham University's football team in the 30's. Alex was interviewed about his recollections of life as a teammate of Vince Lombardi following Vince's passing at the young age of 57 years.

Through my reading, it is no surprise to me that Dad too must have really been impressed by Vince Lombardi. I found it almost funny how similar some of the traits that Vince drove to embody were core characteristics that Dad effortlessly lived by: Athleticism, Scholastics, Citizenship, and his Faith were all at Dad's center.

Why am I sharing this? Well, this book is comprised of many accounts of Vince's character and persona. Our lives, and all those who knew Dad, and those who will hear of Dad, will have been better because of his testimony and story. We get to share a story of perseverance and faith and all I can imagine that is a life of abundance in the blessings that matter most.

Although it seems unfair that we won't get to see Dad's smile, share a laugh, or learn something through his conversation, we will always have our telescope by the sea to look through. His life, the way he lived, and Who he lived for, will always lead us to a see things in a better light. I think it's great how Alex's house is described above. It is my desire that our house (or family) will always be a source of hope, a mirror of grace, and a place of comfort for all those who enter. From the babies of my generation, to those of the next, Dad's example will mark our future. I am glad for that.

I love you guys!

Happy Fourth!

Jeremy

(Pictured above: Lonnie with his baby Jeremy and his first gift to him. Jeremy still has that football.)

Jubilee

Benji and Jen have a new little addition to their family. Their baby girl Jubilee was born at the end of June and we are filled with joy and wonderment at this precious little gift from God. What a miracle! We thank all who prayed for Jennifer and baby as she experienced some complications at the end of her pregnancy. Both mommy and baby are healthy and happy!

Her name is Jubilee Lania and she is a beautiful girl just like her happy, full-of-life, big sister Zoe.

Jubilee means joy, celebration, restoration and redemption. Jubilee comes from their family word of the year--Joy! Joy, not having joy but learning joy in their circumstances. Right after finding out Jen was pregnant, many of the really tough things she was dealing with went away (difficulty sleeping and terrible dreams). This is a year of Jubilee for the family.

Her middle name Lania (pronounced Lon-nie'-a) means noble and sacred to God. The inspiration for Lania comes from Jen's Daddy Lonnie which means "heavenly warrior."

We celebrate our Jubilee!

The Journey--

While in Washington state, I was driving from the dentist's office and saw a sign at an auto repair shop that went something like this: "It's not just the destination, the journey is important too." I contemplated turning around to get the exact words but I didn't so this is a paraphrase. I wrote these words on a piece of paper and have been mulling over the idea ever since.

As I drove down to Southern California, I knew it was very important for me to know my destination and to have a plan. Our journey in life can go in many different ways and take unplanned turns and curves as well, but the destination has to always be before us.

When my sister and I drove through Oregon on our trip to Washington in February, I didn't plan on having a flat tire but I did. It didn't halt our progress completely, just slowed it down a bit. The destination was ahead and we continued on. I saw a gorgeous mountain to the east of me on my way through California last week, pulled over to witness its beauty and thanked God for His creation and then moved on. 

Sometimes things happen along our journey and it is with God's help that we continue on to our destination. It helps to know that ultimately there is no place I would rather be at the end of my life here on earth than in heaven with my Lord Jesus Christ. He has made the way for me (for us) to get there and His Holy Spirit is here to help us along our way.

When I arrived here in California, Jen and I were talking about where I would eventually live and find a home. In the conversation, she said these words, "It's not only about the destination, it's about the journey!" I laughed, went to my room and brought out the piece of paper with those similar words written on it and showed it to her. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something!

Then Jen read the following verse to me. Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

She pointed out that eternity has already begun for us and our destination is intertwined with our journey. Wise words, little one! Wise words!


Now my little update (April 17, 2012):  Later on in the fall of last year on a journey with my friend Terri, our car was hit by a flying piece of cement siding. It came right at us and shattered our windshield.  Sometimes life can have setbacks like the flat tire and other times we feel like we have been hit so hard that we may not recover. The truth of Psalm 23 rings out..."Even though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff they comfort me." We are not alone on this journey that can have pitfalls and bumps along the way. We are comforted and guided by our Savior.  


Back in June 2011 we had no idea that my journey would bring me back to California where I would have a home, get a wonderful job and be planted here. I actually was thinking that I might end up somewhere else.  I thank the Lord that He has been with me on this unexpected journey and my confidence and my security is in Him.  I thank the Lord for my family and friends who have joined me and encouraged me on my journey.  


Tonight I was reading from the book "A Grace Disguised" written by Jerry Sittser who lost his mother, his wife and his young daughter in a car accident.  (Thank you Lola for this book). Professor Sittser said, "My confidence in God is somehow quieter but stronger.  I feel little pressure to impress God or prove myself to Him; yet I want to serve Him with all my heart and strength.  My life is full of bounty, even as I continue to feel the pain of loss. Grace is transforming me and it is wonderful.  I have slowly learned where God belongs and have allowed Him to assume that place--at the center of life rather than at the periphery."  


I liked what he had to say. I pray that grace is transforming me. Lord, as I journey through this life, I also want you at the center of my life. Thank you for my husband who wanted that same thing while we walked this life together and thank you for reminding that I am not alone. You are with me every step of the way.  Help me to keep my eyes on You.  

Choices

No matter where a person moves or lives, there is always one constant. It doesn't matter where you are, you are still there with your attitudes and heart!

As we moved around from place to place in the Air Force, we would find ourselves getting settled in a new home, meeting new friends, facing challenges for the children as they enrolled in their new schools or we chose to homeschool. We moved very often. Our youngest daughter moved 11 times by the age of 17.

I imagine we think we'll be happy when we leave a certain place, move to a new desired location, or when our circumstances have changed, but in reality we can be happy or unhappy in Hawaii, North Dakota, Arkansas, New York, California, Guam, Korea, etc... We can choose to set the tone for our home by our attitudes. Will we realize the joy of the Lord is our strength, or will we wallow in self-pity or unrealized wishes and wants? Believe me, there were (and are) times I failed miserably for which I thank God for His forgiveness.

So much of what our children and (now for me) grandchildren learn is not necessarily taught verbally but oftentimes caught when we are unaware. They are watching us, how do we act and react when we're cut off in traffic, the neighbor's trash is in our yard, our day is disrupted by a flat tire, we're in a new home with none of our belongings and trying to make it work, or a lost shoe. A lost shoe! Now there's a story!

I was not perfect, we were not perfect, but we tried to be honest with our children, told them when we were wrong, and taught them about our God who is!

The attitude of my heart is what was and is important. "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" Psalm 139:23,24.

One more thought that recently spoke to my heart by Francis Chan (Crazy Love):

"There's that perplexing command: 'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice!' (Phil 4:4).....and it follows with a charge, 'Do not be anxious about anything' (v. 6). That came as a pretty staggering realization. But what I realized next was even more staggering. When I am consumed by my problems--stressed out about my life, my family and my job--I actually convey the belief that I think my circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a 'right' to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities."

So...I'm learning (I haven't arrived at the end of this education), that no matter what, we can and have the privilege to "rejoice in the Lord." He provided all we really need when Jesus died on the cross for us and rose from the dead. My hope is that I will learn to "rejoice in the Lord" no matter what! I may have sorrow, but I have God's provision and presence with me every day and for that, I choose to rejoice! I also have an awesome family and amazing friends who are helping me on this journey as well. Thank you for your love and prayers!

Worship as a Child

Do you know how little children are so excited when their daddy walks through the door? Or how they run to him when they are hurt? The daddy does everything he can to reach his children and bring them in his arms and give them hugs and kisses, rejoices with their exultation and comforts them in their need.

The message last night by Pastor Steve Wexler was on worship and he said that when we worship God is blessed, we are blessed and we are changed. One point in particular stood out to me: "He renews your youth -- you're always young in His presence."

I had a picture in my mind of a girl, playing on the mountainside picking flowers, running through the green grasses, rejoicing in the beauty around her and most of all in Her Creator (almost like Maria at the beginning of The Sound of Music). I sensed that our Father in heaven delights in our praise, desires for us to remain in the posture of wonderment and adoration!

As we worship, He is blessed! Psalm 103:1-5 (The Message) "O my soul, bless GOD, from head to toe, I'll bless His holy name, O my soul, bless GOD, don't forget a single blessing!"

We sang the song "Here in Your Presence" and one of the lines is "here in Your presence heaven and earth become one." That overwhelms me...."heaven and earth become one." I picture myself worshiping our God here on earth and Lonnie worshiping Him in heaven with my mom and dad, his father and so many more precious loved ones. Yes, that definitely can bring a childlike dance to my step!

Wow, that's awesome!

Wooden's 7-Point Creed

I was at the bookstore one day and saw this book by John Wooden, the famous basketball coach and one of Lonnie's favorites. He gave this 7-point creed to his son when he graduated from elementary school:

Be true to yourself

Make each day your masterpiece

Help others

Drink deeply from good books including the Good Book

Make friendships a fine art

Build a shelter against a rainy day

Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.

(This is found on page 290 of "Wooden on Leadership" by John Wooden and Steve Jamison)

He also said: "Nobody cares how much you know (until they know how much you care)."

And a side note: Want to say that I am so proud of our little four-year-old grandson, Elijah, who is just growing up so fast and had his birthday recently. He is a delightful little boy, is playing T-ball now, learning his Bible verses at AWANA, loves his family and is loved by us all!

Your granmommy loves you, Elijah! Happy Birthday!