Unpacking Boxes

I moved into the new Barker family home on April 18.  It is so weird for me to just say "my home."  Always before I would say "our home."  It really is that because everything I unpack and every piece of furniture brings memories of cherished events or happenings in our lives and the lives of our children.  

Lonnie's notes are some of my most treasured possessions. Pointing people to Jesus was his delight and joy.  His notes in his Bibles, the passages he underlined, and references he wrote on the front and back pages of books and different Bibles are like lifelines to me.  These notes show his heart for the Lord and his desire to share His love.  As a chaplain and a minister, he was called on to be with people during some of the happiest as well as saddest times of their lives.  Weddings, new babies, dedications, celebrations in life, walking with people in difficult situations and dealing with death were all such a part of his calling.  

I found a small presentation he made on dealing with those who are grieving and it is filled with such good words.  In a way, Lonnie is ministering to me through these notes and the thoughts he had made.    

So I sift through his boxes filled with books and look for notes of encouragement and help and I find them.  I never know when I open a box what I will find.  On Monday I opened a box from his office.  He had written notes about his medical care and the date he started taking Zocor.  At the bottom of the paper he wrote three Scripture references regarding healing and encouragement:  
     
     "Acts 3:6 'In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth--walk,' 
     Psalm 95:6,7 '(entire chapter)' 
     Psalm 147:3-5,11,14-16."  

The file that contained his health care and information was entitled "Hope".

He wrote dates of when our children were going to possibly come visit and notes of places he wanted to visit in 2010 when our children came over to Germany and things he wanted to do with them and our grandchildren.  And he wrote notes about places he wanted to take me while in Europe.  I come from a Swedish heritage so he wrote:  "Sweden--for Chris, Rome--Christmas?, London..., Sound of Music--RTT."  

There are so many more precious things I am finding but you know what I am being reminded of once again:  Lonnie's love and his heart for his Lord, his family, the people he worked with and for and life itself.  I am finding treasures that make me cry and that make me smile.  I shared some of these lists Lonnie made with one  of our sons and he texted me these words:  "I love Dad's relationship with Jesus.  So personal, so real, so powerful, so hopeful, so genuine."  

So true, so true!  

Happy Valentine's Day!

My Lonnie was incredibly loving and was very creative at making this day so special. Sometimes he would do simple sweet little things and at other times, big surprises! Our last Valentine's Day together he brought me beautiful roses, an awesome card and took me out to dinner. 

The coffee table on left and buffet to the right

You may say, "That is not so unusual," but one year he brought home a very pretty coffee table. When he was newly in the Air Force and we were at Little Rock AFB, he went to  Squadron Officer's School in Montgomery, Alabama, and we made plans to meet in Memphis, Tennessee, for Valentine's Day weekend. While there, Lonnie found a buffet for our dining room. Such a loving and thoughtful man! Sometimes we did special events and other times he might give me chocolates, flowers and a card.

We loved going to antique stores and junk stores and enjoyed finding little treasures. Sometimes we would just walk through and look for no reason except we enjoyed it...never needed to buy a thing. We would show each other cool things we would find and that was that. Fun!  

Another thing Lonnie loved to do was try to figure out where we were going to live. He always had a map nearby. He also liked to look at houses. It was a desire in his heart for us to find a home that we could settle down in one day when he retired from the Air Force. One of his favorite websites was http://www.oldhouses.com/. He would find a house and say, "Hey honey, come look at this one." There was one huge home with 13 bedrooms in Butte, Montana, that he thought would be perfect for our whole family (of course, he was semi-joking, and yet it was a fun idea...to have all the children and grandchildren together under one roof).

Well, this year, my precious Lonnie has given me rose bushes  and a house to go with them. Because of his wisdom and God's blessing, I was able to find a home near San Diego. With the incredible help of Jennifer and Benji (who looked at many houses until we found this one) and the wonderful support and encouragement from Jeremy and Crystal, Jason and Sunnie, and Tiffany and Zach combined with lots of prayer, escrow is scheduled to close on February 14. A month ago, my realtor Yolanda told me that we should close on Valentine's Day. The response I had in my head was, "Oh, that is amazingly perfect and unbelievable!" I told her later on after I had time to think about it myself. We certainly didn't plan for that to happen. We thought it would be towards the end of February or beginning of March. 

So, this Valentine's Day I want to say thank you to the Lord for His provision and thank you to my Lonnie for taking such good care of me. His loving ways continue on even after he is gone. Thank you to my amazingly loving children for taking care of me over and over again over the past two-plus years.  

I had a dream the other night.  In my dream, I was walking into this new house for the first time and Lonnie was walking beside me. He was so handsome, wearing a very white, white shirt and a pair of crisply ironed jeans; he looked heavenly. It was a precious dream. Lonnie's touch and gifts and love will be seen all through our home and I am forever grateful to the Lord for bringing him into my life. 

As I go forward in this next chapter of my life, I want to always be thankful and count my blessings! Lonnie Bruce Barker, what a blessing you are in my life! Jeremy and Crystal, Jason and Sunnie, Jennifer and Benji, Tiffany and Zach....what would I have done without your love and my "home sweet homes!" And then our ten grandchildren....oh, I am counting my blessings tonight!  And my precious family and friends! I could go on and on...I think I better stop for now.  

Thank you and Happy Valentine's Day!

Some Quotes on a Sunday

"The bigger your view of God, the smaller your problems will seem to you."  (John Lindell, James River Assembly)


"You can do more than pray after you've prayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed." (John Bunyan, quoted by John Lindell in his sermon on Nehemiah)

"We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties."  (Oswald Chambers)


"Heaven is full of answers to prayers for which no one ever bothered to ask." (Billy Graham)


And a saying my daughter, Tiffany, quotes all the time: "Everything you were born to do is impossible....without God."
(Christine Caine)


Lord, help me and teach me to pray.  


A quote from the Apostle Paul:  "Do not be anxious for anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Reflectors of His Glory

 "Arise and shine, for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.  For behold darkness shall cover the earth, and great darkness shall cover the people; but the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you" (Isaiah 60:1,2).

When I graduated from LIFE Bible College "back in the day," each year the graduating class would choose a name and verse. The class name we chose was "Reflectors of His Glory" which came from Isaiah 60:1,2. People were invited to write a song that would correspond with our class theme and verse and the winning song was sung by the class at graduation.

I simply put Isaiah 60:1-2 to music with a slight variation of the words in the verses and used "We are reflectors of His glory" in the chorus.  My song was not chosen by our class but my husband loved that little song.  

As we went into ministry, we pastored in Colorado and Missouri and then went into the Air Force Chaplaincy.  Every now and then Lonnie would preach a sermon that would include this passage of Scripture in it:  "Arise and shine, for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold darkness shall cover the earth...but the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you."

He would come up to me at some point during the week before and ask something like this, "Chrissy, would you mind playing and singing your song 'Reflectors of His Glory' for service on Sunday? I just think it would be a great way to end the sermon during the invitation." 


He was always so sweet about it and my simple little song would be sung once more, much to his delight. I think he liked to give me opportunity to minister alongside him and I love him for that. We moved 11 times by the time our youngest daughter was 17 years old, so he could include this little song a few times in our military ministry and it was never a repeat for the congregations.  

Yesterday I was reading my Life Journal scriptures (I am on my own two-year You Version plan where I push the catch-me-up button when I get behind) and I came to Isaiah 60 and memories flooded back. I wish I could somehow relate the love my husband had for His Savior and his desire to shine forth His Light. It was what he was all about (that and his love for me and our family).


My hope and prayer is that I will reflect the light and glory of the Lord as I continue this journey. I wish Lonnie were here to sing my little song with me...but he's singing alongside the heavenly hosts instead!

Overwhelmed by Our Shepherd's Love

He will tend His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms; He will carry them in His bosom and gently lead those that are with young. 

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand and marked off the heavens with a span, enclosed the dust of the earth in a measure and weighed the mountains in scales and the hills in a balance? Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord, or what man shows him His counsel? Whom did He consult, and who made Him understand? Who taught Him the path of justice and taught Him knowledge and showed Him the way of understanding? 

Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing. 

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:11-14, 26, 28-31 ESV) 

I have read and reread this passage of Scripture over this past month and I am made aware again and again of what an awesome God we have! I have been captivated by these words. Our God knows all, understands all, created all and He is never weary and does not grow faint. He renews our strength as we wait upon Him. 

Our God is with us; He is our rock, our sure foundation. This awesome God who created the stars and the oceans and the mountains desires to be our Shepherd.    

I love this picture of the Shepherd with His sheep, taking care of them and guiding them to where they should go for that day. Daily He is with us, He loves us and cares for us. Daily our amazing Creator God shows His gentleness and love to us and desires to guide us where we should go and to become who He desires us to be. 

The Lord is my Shepherd. I am overwhelmed. 

Why Us, God?

On March 28, 2011, my title for my post was No Limits. I wanted to share it again and also add an update at the end:

(From March 28, 2011) "The other morning I woke up with this prayer on my lips, 'Oh Lord, I hope I never did anything to limit or stifle the dreams you put in my precious husband's life. Please forgive me if I did.' I reflect on different aspects of our life together daily. We would often discuss possibilities and we had many dreams for the future and thoughts of what we would do when he retired from the Air Force. My prayer continued, "Please don't let me stifle or bring limitations to what You would do in our lives."

Shortly after that, a precious person called me and told me of an opportunity that she and her husband were pursuing which included an amazing blessing but also great commitment. I knew that the Lord had dealt with my heart earlier in the day. I believe God was preparing my heart for this news and my response. I would not want to limit what God would do in this person's life even though it will involve great dedication, unselfish love, perseverance and sacrifice.

When God calls us to something, may we pursue Him with all that we are, knowing He will do what He wants to do through us and most of all, make us who He wants us to be. We have no idea where it may lead, but let's allow Him to surprise us and be 'confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ' (Phil 1:6)."

Ruby and her big brother Isaiah

Update, January 2012: I was referring to our Tiffany's phone call in the above post. She and Zach were praying regarding the adoption of a precious little girl and she was letting me know of this after they had already prayed and fasted together as a couple. I am thankful the Lord prepared me for this by reminding me of my prayer not to stifle or put limitations on His work. I joined them in prayer as did other family members and friends. I am so excited that they followed hard after the Lord and let Him lead their decisions and steps. We are thrilled that Ruby is home! 


While Tiffany was in Taiwan, she sent the following sentiments in an e-mail to the family: "There are so many incredible spiritual things happening, so many stories of God's grace in this situation. We need to record all the stories, completely miraculous. Zach and I just sit and say, 'God, why us? How do we deserve this huge blessing?' We know it is all His grace. God has worked in mighty ways."


I am praying in this new year that I will remember not to put my limits on God's work in my life and the lives of my family and friends. Why would I want to limit His Hand! Father God, help me to follow hard after You and not be afraid, for You are with me. No Limits! 

The Light of Christmas

I was watching a movie the other day "The Christmas Cottage."  An elderly artist was struggling with a painting and he realized that he was concentrating on the pain and darkness of missing his beloved wife and instead he needed to paint the light!  Light!  He painted a beautiful picture of the light shining through the leaves. He said to Thomas Kinkade in the movie, "I have been trying to paint my sorrow, to show a bleakness of a world without Nicole, but then you came with a candle last night, and I knew what Nicole's memorial should be. Not darkness, but light. Sometimes we can barely see beyond the forest to the sky. I was painting the leaves of the forest and never saw the light of the sky behind it. Now I see it. That's all I need to see now."

I watch my daughter paint and it is amazing to see the light reflected in her work.  She recently painted a picture she entitled "Aspen" and it truly reflected light and life and glorious beauty.

When you walk into a darkened room, the colors do not show up at all but turn the light on and "voila," colors are everywhere! As my son and his wife turned the lights on their tree last week, we noticed how the lights were reflected in their bay window. What a beautiful sight! 

My Lonnie loved Christmastime, everything about it:  the music, the joyous smiles of our children, celebrating Advent as a family in our home as we prepared for Christmas Day, lighting the candles, making gifts and putting together toys, drinking eggnog, decorating our house inside and out (including  our fake snow in Guam and real snow in North Dakota), going to the mall and watching the people scurry and hurry along, Christmas Eve service with the luminaries all lit, the Christmas story on Christmas morning, the chaos and the fun...and the lights.

Jesus is the Light of the World.  We need His light to shine brightly in our lives, to dispel the darkness. During this time of Christmas, I am making a mental note to concentrate on the "Light." I want the beautiful Christmas lights to remind me of our Savior who was born a baby in a manger. Later in his earthly ministry He said the words, "I have come into the world as light, so that everyone who believes in me should not remain in darkness" (John 12:46). He also said, "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life" (John 8:12).

This year I am concentrating on the Light

     ....and the music

          .......and family

               ...... and the joy that continues in our grandchildren's faces and our children's faces as they rejoice with their families 
                     .....and the joy of Zach and Tiffany bringing little Ruby home for Christmas.   

But most of all, I want to fix my eyes on the Light; on Jesus who came into the world to bring us hope and peace in the midst of the storm. I want to reflect His light to the world around me even as those windows in my son's house reflected the lights of the Christmas tree.  

So when we see those twinkling beautiful Christmas lights, let's remember the love of our God who sent His only Son to be our Light and who will lead us home.

Thank you, God, for leaving the Light on for us.  


(The song Light of the World by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir started playing on my computer as I finished this blog. My computer was on shuffle play.  I thought that was very special!)