Facing Fear

Somedays you can be going through life and all seems well and good and then, all of sudden, you are standing at that cliff again. Thoughts come into your head and you are facing "fear" again. Panic and distress seem to overwhelm your soul. The other day this happened to me.  

When it did, I cried out to God, wailing my fears to Him and crying out for His help. My tears mixed with the waters that flowed in the sink. He was with me and helped me and calmed my fears.  He is our refuge and strength, our high tower.  We can run to Him and find safety and peace (Psalm 46:1).  

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words...What shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?...Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:26-39) 

"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." (Isaiah 41:13 ESV)

I know I am covered by the prayers of others, my children and their spouses, my church family and dear friends. God's love and promise to be with me brings me hope for each new day. 

"Shoes Off"

Jubilee has the sweetest way of letting me know that she doesn't want me to leave when I am visiting her house. She will look at me and ask, "Shoes Off?" or she will say with authority, "Shoes off." If my shoes are off, she gives me the sweetest grin which makes me very happy!  

I was on a walk this morning and was thinking about how sweet Jubes is to show me her love in such a tangible way. Then as I continued in my thoughts, I remembered how God told Moses to take his sandals off as He spoke to him because where he was standing was holy ground (Exodus 3:2-6). Joshua also was commanded to take his sandals off his feet. Joshua was standing on holy ground before the awesome "Commander of the Lord's Army" (Joshua 5:13-15).  

Truly these men were in the presence of our Almighty God and where they stood was holy ground. Taking their shoes off was a way of showing honor and obedience and also signified that they were not going anywhere for awhile. They were going to be taking time in the presence of God. 

We also have the privilege of being in the presence of our awesome God everyday because Jesus made a way for us. Maybe if we listen carefully, we might hear our Heavenly Father say, "Shoes off?" or maybe even, "Shoes Off, take some time to honor Me and spend time with Me before you journey on your way today."  

Because of Jesus, we can "come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). He promised to "never leave or forsake us" (Hebrews 13:5) and He has "made known to us the path of life; in His presence there is fullness of joy; at His right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11).  

When I hear those sweet words, "Shoes Off", they will always signify to me that someone wants me to spend time with them. Let's listen for our Father's voice as He says, "Shoes Off" to us every day.  

So cute!  "Shoes Off!"

Regrets and Encouragement

There are regrets I have in my life and I am thankful for the grace of God and my husband as well.  He was a chaplain in the Air Force and would deal with people who were walking through very difficult events in their life. When he came home at night, I loved to greet him at the door or at noon I would meet him on base and go to lunch with him. He always made me feel like that was the best part of his day, coming home and spending time with me.  

There is one particular thing that I did that I wish I could go back and change. Politics always interested me but in the last five years (maybe more) of our life together, I became a political "junkie" of sorts. I was pretty bad. I am one who loves to sew and quilt and as I would be working on some quilt or creation, I would often listen to "Talk Radio". I would get all engrossed in the big major political event or build-up to the next election and it filled my thoughts. It embarrasses me now to think of it. (I believe we need to know what is happening but I was over the top). Anyone who was my close friend or family member at that time will remember getting the latest political news or tidbit from me, always trying to keep everyone informed about the latest breaking political story.  

I would tell Lonnie the latest news as we reviewed our days together, "Did you hear so-and-so did this or said this?" Lonnie was not able to tell me many of his stories and conversations because he was a chaplain and there is the confidentiality issue. I remember Lonnie saying tenderly that I might be spending too much time on politics and that I was taking up many hours of my day worrying about things that I could not change. He encouraged me to pray and write letters and support causes I believed in but thought I should not invest so much time to it. He was right.  

So now I want to bring you up to this past week. I spent time with a precious young lady who is walking through great anguish and difficulty. She asked if she could come and meet with me. I was at work and I love having my Bible on my phone but I needed to have a "real" Bible, one where I could turn the pages and look for verses. My Bible was at home so I ran downstairs to my friend's office where there was a small pile of Bibles in the Lost and Found. I quickly picked up a Bible and carried it back upstairs.  

When I opened the front cover of the Bible I saw these words: Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I was needing encouragement. I desired and prayed that I would be able to share something that would bring comfort and strength to this beautiful young woman. 

I was stunned.  This is why. After Lonnie died, my son Jeremy went to my husband's office in Germany and he "randomly" picked up one of Lonnie's Bibles. When Jeremy opened the front cover of the Bible, the only verse that was referenced in that particular Bible was Isaiah 41:10. This was unusual because Lonnie usually referenced many verses on the front and back pages of his Bibles. Jeremy shared this verse at the Memorial Service they had for Lonnie in Germany and it has been a verse of promise for me over these past years of heartbreak and sorrow.  

By finding this Bible with this particular verse written clearly in the front, I knew God had just encouraged me in a way that would be very meaningful to me and I, in turn, would be able to bring His encouragement to this dear friend. This verse all by itself brings me more courage and strength than I could imagine and I prayed that it would minister to my sweet friend as well, more than any words I could have ever put together on my own.

You may wonder why I started with my regrets and then ended with God's encouragement. I am just thankful that God met me with words that would help me on my journey and asked me not to be dismayed (by politics or life events) but to know that He is with me and will strengthen and help me. So, I wish that I could have been more like Jesus when it came to my focus during that period of my life in the years prior to Lonnie's passing. I know God forgives me for using up so much time on things that could weigh me down and distract and He promised that if I "confess my sins He is faithful and just to forgive my sins" (1 John 1:9).  

I remember Lonnie saying to me once and, honestly, it makes perfect sense to me now, "I remember meeting that sweet little carefree girl from Montana. I just don't want you to be burdened down by the cares of the world." Lonnie was right. It's amazing how a drastic event in your life can bring such clarity.  

My prayer is that I will be an encourager and that I will fill my heart and mind with things that really can bring help and courage to others. I am thankful that God is our Awesome Encourager! The Best!  

Major Marshall

In early March my little puppy was born and Marshall came home to live with me eight weeks later. He is so funny and cute! When I first tried to take him for a walk on a leash, he was like a little marionette on a string, just kind of flopped around. He has certainly found his strength now as I try to teach him to walk beside me. He is getting big and strong.  

I am thankful for my Marshall. He helps teach me life lessons. Walking with him right now is a challenge. I, like Marshall, need to learn to walk with my Master and not try to pull ahead or drag behind, but learn to trust my Savior that His way is best.  Marshall trusts me to provide his daily food and water and he loves to play and spend time with me. Today I was playing the piano and he was just sitting at my feet chewing on his toy. He enjoys spending time with me and my family. (He needs to not jump up on us but he is still just a puppy)!

So, I am learning little lessons from this dog who keeps getting bigger and bigger everyday. I snapped this picture one day when I was having my devotions. Marshall was trying to get right up on the swing with me and get as close as possible. Another lesson: I want to get as close as possible to my Master as well. I know I can be a challenge at times to my blessed Redeemer. I am thankful for his patience and love.  

PS:  Marshall also is helping me to be a better neighbor. I have met so many of my neighbors and random people as I take my doggie for walks. They tell me all kinds of things which totally amazes me. Marshall, you're a keeper!  

The Lions We Face

In the earliest century A.D., Christians were cast before lions for their faith. I was wondering, what are the lions that we face today? Some Christians do face death in different parts of the world as they profess their faith in Jesus Christ. We would never want to deny our God and our Savior Jesus Christ if faced with such a severe testing.

But, what kind of lions do we face? The lions that could cause us to turn from our faith because we cannot believe what is happening to us. The "If God is good, how could He let this happen?" kind of events in life that can shake us to our core.  

Disappointment and unbelievable grief can cause a person to wonder and seek for reasons and explanation. But you know something that has helped me when facing difficult times and utterly despairing moments (our "lions" that would devour us and try to destroy our faith)? Knowing that God is with me. It is His promise that He would never leave us or forsake us even when we are standing before the "lions" of our life, feeling exposed and helpless. He is with me. I may be shaking but I will not be shaken.  

The story of Job brings us amazing insight. Job was in the arena and he didn't know it. There was a divine drama going on. Job had an audience: God and the enemy of his soul. As Job asked question after question of God, God let him do just that. Job asked questions including "Where are you, God?" and "Why is this happening?".

God never answered one of Job's questions. Instead He had some questions for Job. He asked him, "Were you there when I laid the foundations of the earth? Were you there when I created the stars? Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east? Were you there when I made the oceans and set the tide in motion? Have you visited the storehouses of the snow? Were you there when....?"  

And Job's friends, who tried to find blame somewhere in Job's life or character, were instructed by God to have Job pray for them. Sometimes the reason things happen are unexplainable. Job's wife said, "Curse God and die." Oh my! Job didn't. He did not turn from his God even though He had questions which God did not answer except with questions of His Own.

God illustrated to Job that he could not explain the physical world so how would he be able to understand the unseen world. Psalm 119:68 says "He is good and does good. It is better for me to put my faith in Him than in my own ability and my evaluation of the situation." Job answered the Lord in chapter 42 and said, "I know that You can do anything and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You ... Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me which I did not know." 

In the difficult and trying times of our life, we may not know why things have happened. Our questions may not be answered but the most important thing we can do is be in fellowship and relationship with our God. 

Trust in Him, rely on Him and stand firm. God is here with us. He will never fail. We may not understand, we don't understand, but remember His questions that we, like Job, cannot answer:  "Were we there when He .....?"   

He is here with us at all times and He promises to be near to the brokenhearted. We are not alone when we face the "lions" in our life. 

A Lesson from Ruby

Ruby and Granmommy

I was driving to the airport to pick up Jen and her girls when I started to think of the days I had just spent with Tiffany. I went to be with Tiffany and Zach and was so happy to be there to welcome home their new little baby girl, Lily Clementine. The past days had been so sweet and what a privilege it was to play and take care of Isaiah and little Ruby, Lily's big brother and sister. I was excited that Jen and the girls were going to get to meet Lily and be with their cousins too.  

Sweet Lily Clementine

Ruby is a joyful little one and is such a huge blessing to our family. She has physical challenges due to cerebral palsy. One of their therapy goals is to help her gain strength in her little neck. At times her head falls forward to her chest and Tiffany says, "Ruby, where are you?" Ruby, lifts her head up and smiles sweetly. On other occasions, we reach out and lift up her head and help her to hold it in the position that is so natural for us. She is a little trooper and is getting stronger each day.  

She also clenches her hands (I must say I have seen great improvement and relaxation in her hands over the past year) and when she gets really happy it is just a sweet little reaction of happiness to clench her little hands tightly. When I was playing with her I would open her little hands and play with her fingers.  At times, she would reach up and stroke my face with her open hands which melted my heart. To get a Ruby hug is something really special.  

As I thought about precious little Ruby and her family on this 3-hour drive, I started thinking about our Father in heaven who desires to lift up our heads. "But You, O Lord, are a shield around me, you are my glory and the lifter of my head" Psalm 3:3. He wants to help us open our clenched hands and show us the way to reach out in love just as Ruby has learned to do. 

As I contemplated these Ruby lessons, a song came on the CD player in Zach and Tiffany's van.  It was a new song to me by Emerging Voices and a confirmation of my Ruby reflections. The title of the song is Who Can Compare?  https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/who-can-compare/id543630292? 

Here are some of the lyrics:  

"And You take my hand and You guide me on,
You show me the way to life
You lift my head and You give me hope
You show me the way to life.....
You are the way, You are the truth, You are the life."

I played the song over and over again as I drove along and the words blessed my soul. Thank you, Lord, for my Ruby lesson. You are "the glory and the lifter of my head" and You give us hope. You desire to take our hands and lead us step by step and teach us to keep our hands open to You and others.  

Oh, I am thankful for little Ruby, her big brother Isaiah and baby Lily and their mommy and daddy too.  

Baby Lily, we love you.  

Isaiah in his new Cars apron

Waiting for the Sun to Rise

It's New Year's Eve!  This special day tucked between Christmas and New Year's.  A day to tidy up, rest, organize, remember, make preparations and get ready to celebrate the new year ahead. 

Today I am praying about my goals and vision for next year.  I am remembering each of my children and their families in my prayers and I pray for the Lord to give them vision and focus for this upcoming year and for each new day.  

Speaking of goals, I have this picture hanging outside in my backyard and Zoe and I were reading it together this morning as we were snuggling in the porch swing.  She really liked the part about "eat a cupcake."  "Good idea, Granmommy!"

Yesterday morning, early, my granddaughter and I were waiting for the sun to rise and it seemed to take forever.  We both woke up before 5:30.  We kept looking as the sky was getting lighter and lighter but still no ray of sun until, finally, it poked through the low-lying clouds a little to the south of where we were fixing our eyes.  We were so excited to see the sun!

During worship at church on Sunday, there were two songs in particular that mentioned the rising of the sun.  One was You'll Come http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RmZFaruXhs 

"As surely as the sun will rise You'll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears. You'll come.   

Let your glory fall as you respond to us.
Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come."

The second song was 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman (a favorite).  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jYLTn4fKYQ

"The sun comes up, It's a new day dawning,
It's time to sing Your song again.
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes."

As I sang these words with a voice that was hoarse and recovering from being sick, I was reminded of Zoe's and my quest to see the sunrise that very morning.  We waited expectantly and it seemed to take forever.  We laughed and talked about it.  "Would the sun ever rise?"  It was really special and significant to me as I felt the Lord reassure me that He will come and meet me and He is even more trustworthy than the sun He created.  His desire is to be present in our lives every day.  

One of my goals for 2013 is to meet Him in the morning, where "I can sing His song again and, whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes."  

(Thank you, Matt Redman, for these beautiful words.  Sounds like a very good goal to me!)