A Lesson from Ruby

Ruby and Granmommy

I was driving to the airport to pick up Jen and her girls when I started to think of the days I had just spent with Tiffany. I went to be with Tiffany and Zach and was so happy to be there to welcome home their new little baby girl, Lily Clementine. The past days had been so sweet and what a privilege it was to play and take care of Isaiah and little Ruby, Lily's big brother and sister. I was excited that Jen and the girls were going to get to meet Lily and be with their cousins too.  

Sweet Lily Clementine

Ruby is a joyful little one and is such a huge blessing to our family. She has physical challenges due to cerebral palsy. One of their therapy goals is to help her gain strength in her little neck. At times her head falls forward to her chest and Tiffany says, "Ruby, where are you?" Ruby, lifts her head up and smiles sweetly. On other occasions, we reach out and lift up her head and help her to hold it in the position that is so natural for us. She is a little trooper and is getting stronger each day.  

She also clenches her hands (I must say I have seen great improvement and relaxation in her hands over the past year) and when she gets really happy it is just a sweet little reaction of happiness to clench her little hands tightly. When I was playing with her I would open her little hands and play with her fingers.  At times, she would reach up and stroke my face with her open hands which melted my heart. To get a Ruby hug is something really special.  

As I thought about precious little Ruby and her family on this 3-hour drive, I started thinking about our Father in heaven who desires to lift up our heads. "But You, O Lord, are a shield around me, you are my glory and the lifter of my head" Psalm 3:3. He wants to help us open our clenched hands and show us the way to reach out in love just as Ruby has learned to do. 

As I contemplated these Ruby lessons, a song came on the CD player in Zach and Tiffany's van.  It was a new song to me by Emerging Voices and a confirmation of my Ruby reflections. The title of the song is Who Can Compare?  https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/who-can-compare/id543630292? 

Here are some of the lyrics:  

"And You take my hand and You guide me on,
You show me the way to life
You lift my head and You give me hope
You show me the way to life.....
You are the way, You are the truth, You are the life."

I played the song over and over again as I drove along and the words blessed my soul. Thank you, Lord, for my Ruby lesson. You are "the glory and the lifter of my head" and You give us hope. You desire to take our hands and lead us step by step and teach us to keep our hands open to You and others.  

Oh, I am thankful for little Ruby, her big brother Isaiah and baby Lily and their mommy and daddy too.  

Baby Lily, we love you.  

Isaiah in his new Cars apron

Waiting for the Sun to Rise

It's New Year's Eve!  This special day tucked between Christmas and New Year's.  A day to tidy up, rest, organize, remember, make preparations and get ready to celebrate the new year ahead. 

Today I am praying about my goals and vision for next year.  I am remembering each of my children and their families in my prayers and I pray for the Lord to give them vision and focus for this upcoming year and for each new day.  

Speaking of goals, I have this picture hanging outside in my backyard and Zoe and I were reading it together this morning as we were snuggling in the porch swing.  She really liked the part about "eat a cupcake."  "Good idea, Granmommy!"

Yesterday morning, early, my granddaughter and I were waiting for the sun to rise and it seemed to take forever.  We both woke up before 5:30.  We kept looking as the sky was getting lighter and lighter but still no ray of sun until, finally, it poked through the low-lying clouds a little to the south of where we were fixing our eyes.  We were so excited to see the sun!

During worship at church on Sunday, there were two songs in particular that mentioned the rising of the sun.  One was You'll Come http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RmZFaruXhs 

"As surely as the sun will rise You'll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears. You'll come.   

Let your glory fall as you respond to us.
Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come."

The second song was 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman (a favorite).  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jYLTn4fKYQ

"The sun comes up, It's a new day dawning,
It's time to sing Your song again.
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes."

As I sang these words with a voice that was hoarse and recovering from being sick, I was reminded of Zoe's and my quest to see the sunrise that very morning.  We waited expectantly and it seemed to take forever.  We laughed and talked about it.  "Would the sun ever rise?"  It was really special and significant to me as I felt the Lord reassure me that He will come and meet me and He is even more trustworthy than the sun He created.  His desire is to be present in our lives every day.  

One of my goals for 2013 is to meet Him in the morning, where "I can sing His song again and, whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes."  

(Thank you, Matt Redman, for these beautiful words.  Sounds like a very good goal to me!)  

  

Christmas Trees

Christmas Tree 2012

I decided to take a little walk down memory lane tonight....

When it came to selecting our Christmas tree, our family liked to find a real tree and, if we could go cut it down, that was even better!  It was a family tradition to go and find the best tree we could for the money we had in our pocket at that moment.  I remember one year, Lonnie had to reinvent the tree "so-to-speak" by nailing in branches where there were big holes.  One year, we bought a tree too early in the season and had to go out and buy a new one around the 15th because our first tree was such a fire hazard (combination of heater and dry tree is not so good).  

While we were in Guam, as our friends were leaving, they gave us an artificial tree that they had kept on hand just in case a supply of trees did not make it to the island.  This tree had to be put together branch by branch.  It is color-coded and quite an interesting undertaking to get all of the branches fanned out, in place and looking pretty.  

So, for many years, Lonnie and I would put up a real tree in the living room and would find another room in our house to put up the "fake" tree.  This year, I decided to put this "fake" tree in the family room and I think that will be it.  As Zoe and I put each branch in its slot and saw the tree come together, it was kind of therapeutic.  Jubilee helped me with the lights.  

Jubilee helping with the lights

Lonnie always helped me get the real tree in the stand, straightened out (which could be quite interesting and sometimes even frustrating) and then we would decorate it together at first and I would do the finishing touches.  

I found a letter from Lonnie when he was deployed and he reminisced about our Christmas trees:  

"I guess if we had all the money in the world--we wouldn't have had as much fun.  Remember all the stupid contraptions I threw together to hold our Christmas tree up--just because I didn't want to buy a Christmas tree stand?  Buckets--sand--boards--O my!  Then all the hours I have spent in my life trying to convince you that the skinny, bare, rundown Christmas trees I got for a great deal are beautiful trees. You would always look at them and sigh, "Well--whatever."  But then you would provide the miracle of Christmas and each year you make our tree beautiful!" 

Lonnie's Letter

This is my first Christmas in my new home and, well, this year, Lonnie, I am putting up our good old stand-by "fake tree" and putting on our ornaments that we collected over the years including those you gave me on our last Christmas together.  Thank you for so many sweet memories and I hope you like the tree!  It's straight!  I couldn't imagine trying to put up a real tree and trying to get it straightened out without your being there to argue with me about whether it was leaning one way or the other.  Love you and miss you so much!  

At the end of Lonnie's letter he wrote:  

"This letter is a sample of what goes on in my mind over here.  I think about us all the time.  Why don't you write down in short phrases all of the good times you and I have had and then when we get back we can compare our lists.  

Hug all the kids for me -- I love you!!  

Always, Lonnie"

(Lonnie, I'm still working on that list....so many good things!)   

A Heart That Loves....

I have a treasure trove of sermons that Lonnie has written.  I sat down and read this one when I was actually looking for a Christmas play that he had written.   This sermon entitled "A Blessed Hope" was dated August 21, 2005, when we were in Alabama.  I love reading his words and His love for the Lord that is so evident.

Some nuggets, sermon notes "in his own words" (cryptic at times and at other times, not-so much):

The Bible--It contains the evidence of God's love--all about God's salvation story--He gave everything--paid the greatest price of all--because of His amazing love for us.

Creation--The wonder and the glory of creation speaks of God's love--we are surrounded by the evidence--there is a God and He cares about you.

Witnesses--The testimonies of those who have gone before, "My God is a faithful God.  He loved me and sustained me and I long to see Him face to face in glory."

Our Part--Invite Jesus into our lives, receive His gift of forgiveness, grace, love, acceptance and salvation--seek first His Kingdom--seek to live a life that brings honor to Him (knowing full well that it is only possible with His power and grace).  All we can do is say yes to what God wants to give.

His part--Given us many great and precious promises and He keeps every one.  Creator, Savior, Healer.  Sometimes when we are in the dark we need to remember what we have seen in the light.  

He leads us--(When we think we don't need God we stumble, go the wrong way, we become lost).  God gives direction as He reveals His purposes for our lives each day, one chapter at a time.  On-time God, always will be there right on time. (Proverbs 3:5,6) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

Faithful--forgiving--merciful--God's awesome grace--He will never give up on you!!!  This life is only the beginning--glimpses of glory, a shadow of things to come.  He has prepared a place for us--if we turn to Him, the Bible teaches us that He has prepared a place for us to rule and reign with Him throughout all eternity!!  God's awesome love--all about a relationship--His incredible desire to love His children.

At the birth of our first son Jeremy (my wife--long labor, very hard on me)--unexpected emotional rush--wow--life--creation--our son (eyes wide open).  This happened to me each time one of our children was born.

Huntington Library near Pasadena--beautiful place, art, gardens, Jeremy was in the stroller, just a little baby, and his finger became pinched in the stroller.  We couldn't figure out why he was in pain at first.  We were so sad that he was crying and hurt.  My son.

Father God loved the world, the people of the world, and me so much that He gave His Only Son--passion, Calvary, all about His love and desire for a relationship with us.  His Son, His Love.

The Impact of God's Awesome Love:  Psalm 145:6-9  "They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds.  They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.  The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.  The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made."

We are human, therefore, we need compassion (we were created with a need to be loved and cared for).

Years ago, in a far off place--I met this pretty, happy, special girl--she's cool and at some point I began to think that just maybe she thought I was cool, very uncommon--eventually I love you, then one day, yes I will marry you!  Overwhelming that someone could love me enough, accept me, love me enough that they would be willing to live the rest of their lives with me--the greatest feeling of all.  I trust my wife believes that she made a good decision, but at times I can be a pain--she just keeps on loving me--chosen to live the rest of her life with me.

God loves us and wants a relationship with us for the rest of eternity!!!  All of His power and glory, capable of anything--see His heart's desire to redeem, accept, embrace and love His children.  He wraps His arms around us--welcomes us into the realm of His unconditional love--impacts everything.  No matter how difficult the situation, we always know (God loves me).  Most important of all!

Relationship--God forgives us--Now we can have meaningful relationships with others, forgive, show compassion--marriage--life is all about forgiveness, acceptance and love.  We can express those qualities if we turn to the Lord and receive from Him His awesome love.

Perhaps the greatest effect the love of God has upon our lives is that we are irreversibly changed within our hearts so that we no longer live unto ourselves, but rather unto Him who died for us:  (2 Cor 5:15) "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again."

An old Greek proverb asserts, "A heart that loves is always young."  (John 14:23 NIV) Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.  My Father will love him and we will come to him and make our home with him."

As we accept God's love for ourselves, we find a desire growing within to not only love Him back but also to reach out to others in the same spirit of love.  God gives a wonderful promise to those who walk in such a spirit of love in John 14:23.  God comes and makes His home with those who love Him!  Invite the Lord Jesus into your life and rejoice today that God has made His home within you.  Renew your commitment to express your love for God to Him and to others.

Benediction:  Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  

(When I read the little part about me in Lonnie's sermon, it was sweet and touched my heart.  I miss this precious man.  I always will.  I love that he loved so well....  There are some things that just cannot be explained or understood.  So thankful we have "A Blessed Hope".)

The Back of the Book

Do you ever peek at the back of the book to check out what is going to happen when things get tense in the middle?  

I really enjoy reading different kinds of books but have only read a few novels in the past few years. So as I was leaving on a recent trip, I told Jen that I wanted to read two books on the plane rides and guess what? I did it.    

I like to know that everything is going to work out in a story and I really want happy endings. I have been known to peek at the back of the book when I feel unsure in the middle of the story (which I think would cause some of my friends much consternation). At times when I have watched movies, I have begged people to tell me if the star of the movie makes it or what the outcome of a certain character is. Lonnie never wanted to know what was going to happen ahead of time because he liked to let the story unfold as it went along. It pretty much ruined the movie for him if someone gave him too much information about the plot and characters.  

I was thinking about this on my plane trip while I was peeking at the back of the book to make sure that the hero and heroine survived and that justice overcame evil. Once I knew all was going to work out in the end, then I went back to the middle of the book where they were embroiled with troubles and difficulties.  

Later on my trip, I thought about my compulsion to check the back of the book. Why am I like that? Why do I need that assurance that everything is going to work out and be set aright?   

I wondered if I were to read a narrative about my life, would it have a happy ending or read like a tragedy instead. As I pondered this thought, I remembered that the most important story is not mine but it is His Story.  

The last words at the back of the Book, the Bible, ring out: "Surely I am coming soon.'  Amen.  Come Lord Jesus! The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all.  Amen." This thing I do know, the Author of this Book has assured us that good will prevail, our Savior will return, our tears will be no more, we will have joy that we cannot imagine and His grace will be with us.  

It is so good to know that our God has promised to be present with us as we walk through our journey here on earth and experience things we cannot imagine or comprehend, both fabulously wonderful and sometimes excruciatingly difficult.  We may shed tears as we travel along but He is with us and we have read the back of the book.  It will be a very good ending!  Jesus also said that as we walk with Him in obedience and abide in His love, His joy will remain in us.  He said that "these things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full" (John 15:11).  

How good it is to know that God is with us and this promise of His presence brings great assurance and hope. We are blessed to be a part of His Story as we walk with Him through this life. There will be a glorious, amazing ending and then again, it will usher us into a new beginning of an awesome epilogue that will never end!  

Once again, I am glad I have taken a peek at the back of the Book!  

A Letter of Encouragement

Lonnie when he was deployed to Kuwait

Pastor Dan had a great sermon on Sunday and one of the points was on encouragement.  After I came home from church I was looking through a box of Lonnie's that contained  pictures and letters from his times of deployment to Korea, Kuwait and Iraq.  I found a letter from someone who knew Lonnie on one of his deployments and it blessed my heart to read his words and also brought tears to my eyes: 


"11 June, 1996
Dear Lonnie,


'And we urge you brethren to recognize those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake...'  (I Thessalonians 5:12-13).  


And maybe not just for their work's sake but because they're so easy to love.  I was very excited when I heard you were coming.  I knew we were getting a chaplain that truly loved the Lord and knew the power of His Spirit.  I knew it would make a huge difference in our experience here.  I also knew, as a pastor or chaplain, your world can become devoid of any encouragement or consolation.  The Lord works in men in places like this and Satan knows that and, like any strong enemy, he will attack the center of gravity for our efforts, namely you.  


My prayer for you throughout our time here was for protection from that.  Hebrew 13:17 says pastors 'watch out for your souls as for those who must give account.'  My account of my pastor here would be that he inspired me by his sincere, genuine, unashamed love for His Lord and for those under his care.  This is both my thanks and love to you and my encouragement for you.  


Love your brother in Christ, 
Mike......"


Mike, your letter blessed me today and I thank you for your prayers for my husband during this time of ministry in Kuwait. 


Thank you to all who pray for and encourage their pastors and shepherds.  It is so important that we remember to bring  words of encouragement to one another.  I have to say that this letter was a source of encouragement to hear and know that another person was praying specifically for Lonnie during this deployment.  I can't even decipher Mike's last name in the letter to thank him now but I am grateful for his and others words to Lonnie.  


So, someone who was a stranger to me brought a special word of encouragement to my husband. I know this because Lonnie saved this letter in a box that contains very precious items: pictures of his children, audio tapes of our babies, slides from when we were married, quotes from our children as they grew up and said funny or poignant things (just to name a few).  I know many people were praying and there are cards and letters from many others in this special box as well.  


I hope I will remember to bring encouragement to friends, family and strangers I meet along the way.  You never know when a letter or a word that you sent or said might be tucked away in a special place to be remembered and bring blessing to someone's heart.  

Unpacking Boxes

I moved into the new Barker family home on April 18.  It is so weird for me to just say "my home."  Always before I would say "our home."  It really is that because everything I unpack and every piece of furniture brings memories of cherished events or happenings in our lives and the lives of our children.  

Lonnie's notes are some of my most treasured possessions. Pointing people to Jesus was his delight and joy.  His notes in his Bibles, the passages he underlined, and references he wrote on the front and back pages of books and different Bibles are like lifelines to me.  These notes show his heart for the Lord and his desire to share His love.  As a chaplain and a minister, he was called on to be with people during some of the happiest as well as saddest times of their lives.  Weddings, new babies, dedications, celebrations in life, walking with people in difficult situations and dealing with death were all such a part of his calling.  

I found a small presentation he made on dealing with those who are grieving and it is filled with such good words.  In a way, Lonnie is ministering to me through these notes and the thoughts he had made.    

So I sift through his boxes filled with books and look for notes of encouragement and help and I find them.  I never know when I open a box what I will find.  On Monday I opened a box from his office.  He had written notes about his medical care and the date he started taking Zocor.  At the bottom of the paper he wrote three Scripture references regarding healing and encouragement:  
     
     "Acts 3:6 'In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth--walk,' 
     Psalm 95:6,7 '(entire chapter)' 
     Psalm 147:3-5,11,14-16."  

The file that contained his health care and information was entitled "Hope".

He wrote dates of when our children were going to possibly come visit and notes of places he wanted to visit in 2010 when our children came over to Germany and things he wanted to do with them and our grandchildren.  And he wrote notes about places he wanted to take me while in Europe.  I come from a Swedish heritage so he wrote:  "Sweden--for Chris, Rome--Christmas?, London..., Sound of Music--RTT."  

There are so many more precious things I am finding but you know what I am being reminded of once again:  Lonnie's love and his heart for his Lord, his family, the people he worked with and for and life itself.  I am finding treasures that make me cry and that make me smile.  I shared some of these lists Lonnie made with one  of our sons and he texted me these words:  "I love Dad's relationship with Jesus.  So personal, so real, so powerful, so hopeful, so genuine."  

So true, so true!