Don't Hold Back Our Love

Today I was able to be at an Air Force Base elementary school and celebrate with my grandson Judah as he was selected to be Student of the Quarter. What a privilege to be here and celebrate with him! 

As I walked with my two little grands, Abram and Edith, I noticed a fine-looking gentleman in uniform walking with his tall pretty wife. He reached out to hold her hand but when he reached her hand, she had a handful of keys. She moved the keys to her purse which I thought was sweet because it seemed she was making room for his hand to fit in hers but, instead, as he reached again, she crossed her arms in front of her and continued to walk beside him across the street. What made her unresponsive to his gesture of love and care? What happened that would cause the coldness I sensed from her as they walked together? It made me sad.

As the morning went by, I forgot about the couple and joined in on the festivities with the children. It was exciting to be at the same school my children had attended years ago, singing some of the same songs and celebrating with these amazing young people and most especially Judah! Congratulations for being such an awesome six-year-old, Judah! 

After the ceremony was over, with all the sweet touches of military life and base schools that I appreciate so much, I walked with little Edith and Abram back to the car. I saw that same couple again and there still appeared to be a lack of conversation and warmth. Sadness. 

Then another couple came into my view and again he was in uniform. His wife was walking alongside him and she reached over and caressed his back in a loving manner. He responded with love and cheerfulness. It made me happy to see her caring and showing her husband her love and receiving his smiles in return. Happiness. 

At this point, it might be melodramatic for me to say this, but, I wish I could reach over and take my husband's hand or pat his back lovingly. I wish I could.  

My message for today is let's not hold back our love because life is precious and we are not any of us perfect. We can tick each other off; we just do that sometimes. Let's still love! We are all different and learning to walk together helps us grow and learn; "iron sharpening iron" kind of comes to mind. 

So, let's not hold back our love because of the stuff of life! Love is an action, not a reaction! Instead, let's love and bring smiles to those we care about as well as to those we don't even know are watching!   

What Lies Ahead?

While hiking Mt. Baldy late last month with my son and a friend as we continue to train for the Freedom Climb, I came to a place where there was a large rock and the trail seemed to disappear. I thought how life is like that. There are times when we have big rocks and boulders that seemingly block the path of our life, the path of our life in the way that we thought it would go.

I was up front for a little bit on this hike and I was clearly on a trail but up ahead: there was no path that I could see. I continued moving forward and upward towards that boulder, wondering if I was taking the right path or if I had missed something. As I continued on this journey up the mountain and climbed over the boulder, there was the path on the other side. 

Life is like that sometimes for us. We have boulders that seem to be blocking our way that we never expected and yet, with God's help and presence, we keep moving forward even though the journey is not clear to us. Sometimes it takes way more effort and strength than we ever could imagine, but that is when we remember that "when we are weak, He is strong". He is the One who helps us to move forward on this path of life, one step at a time, one day at a time. 

"Step by step He leads me and I will follow Him all of my days." This was just a simple reminder of His presence with us and He is leading us even when things are not clear. Lord, help us not to worry about the boulders ahead but to remember that you will help us as we take the step we are taking now and will see us over and through what lies ahead.

So thankful for Jeremy for hiking with his Momma!

Give Someone You Love an Extra Hug Today!

36 years ago!  Really? 36 years ago Lonnie and I were married!

It seems in so many ways like a lifetime ago and then in other ways like just yesterday.  He was fun-loving, full of life, loved God and his family with all of his heart. He took care of me so well from the beginning and I miss him. We miss him. 

Tiffany sent met this verse today: "He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of His people He will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken" Isaiah 25:8 (ESV). Thank you, Tiffany, for this fills me with hope and I rejoice in the resurrection life that we have in Jesus! 

I was reading about Mary, Martha and Lazarus today and how they sent word to Jesus regarding Lazarus saying, "Lord, the one You love is sick." I talked to God about how I knew He loved my husband when Lonnie was dealing with his health issues and was sick--"Lord, the one you love." I wish we had been able to comprehend that the combination of medication (Simvastatin) and Lonnie's low cholesterol could lead to serious side effects and harm. (The FDA has since added more warnings regarding statins). 

I will never really be able to put all the pieces of this puzzle together but I know God is the One who understands and is putting things right for all eternity. I trust Him and there is no other that I can turn to but Him. Daily I need Him and desire to know His heart and His love even when things happen that I don't understand.

Last Saturday I was listening to praise music and was thinking about how Lonnie used to talk about the "promise of His presence" in his sermons, prayers and conversation. As I contemplated this, I said those words out loud but very quietly, "The promise of Your presence." Just as I finished whispering them, a song  (Who Can Compare by Emerging Voices) came on and these words were softly spoken, "We love your presence, God." What a special, precious moment this was for me. 

Today, can I encourage everyone to give their spouse and loved ones big hugs and lots of love? 

Here are some things Lonnie used to say. He would tell his daughters that they were "pretty, pretty, precious, pretty, pretty!" and to his sons I would hear him say, "I love you and am so proud of you! Man, I love you!"

"Time for a run." "Do you want to go for a walk?" How he loved to get out and run and also walk with me. I think he would be happy that I am hiking and preparing for the Freedom Climb in Colorado this summer. 

A few more Lonnie-isms just for fun.  "Oh Man, what's wrong with my driving?" "If you see something on the ground, pick it up as you go--that's what my grandmother used to always say to me!" "Thank you for your support!" 

But above all else, "I love you!" 

"Love you bunches and bunches!" 

Grandaddy's Bible

One of Lonnie's Bibles has made it back into my hands.  When Lonnie passed away, my son Jeremy went to his dad's office and picked up one of his Bibles. Later as Jeremy inspected the Bible more closely, he noticed there was one Bible verse inscribed in my husband's handwriting on the front pages. Lonnie usually would have many references written in the front of his Bibles but this particular Bible had only the Isaiah 41:13 reference: "For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, "Fear not, I will help you."  

Lonnie had many Bibles through the years but I gave him this particular Bible on April 10, 1994. He started having trouble with his eyesight and tried to go for the longest time without wearing glasses. This Bible had larger print which was another way to keep from having to wear his glasses all the time. It was a running joke every time he went to get his driver's license, "Will I pass the eye test this time without wearing my glasses?" He would squint and somehow he always did!  

Back to the journey of this Bible, Jeremy related how he found this Bible and discovered the verse written on the front inside cover at Lonnie's memorial service in Germany. He said that his dad was his hero and he loved and honored his father so well that day. Jeremy kept the Bible for awhile and then passed it on to his brother Jason who is a minister and a chaplain in the Air Force Reserves.  

A couple days after I came to Japan to visit Jason and his sweet family including their little baby Edith Serenity who is a little over a week old now, he brought out a box of keepsakes and special things he had saved. He handed me his father's Bible and said, "I think you should have this. You gave it to Dad and you should keep it now."  

Jason, Sunnie and Edith

So I have it for now. There are many verses throughout the Bible that Lonnie has underlined. There was one message that he would remind us of as we traveled through life together with our family. As we moved with our children and prayed about God's will for our lives and our children, the message from Numbers 13-14 really gave him and the two of us inspiration. 

When I opened the Bible after Jason gave it to me, the page opened up right to that passage. Lonnie had underlined words, circled verses and written scriptures at the bottom of the page. 

Some of the circled verses included the following:  

Numbers 14:3 "Why has the Lord brought us to this land... that our wives and children should become victims?"  

Numbers 14:24 (following Joshua and Caleb's good report) "But My servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit in him and has followed Me fully, I will bring him into the land where he went and his descendants will inherit it." 

Numbers 14:31 "But your little ones, whom you said would be victims, I will bring in, and they shall know that land which you have despised."  

I am reminded of Lonnie's words that the best thing we could do is to follow the Lord and that He would take care of our children. He said we should never use our children as an excuse not to follow the Lord's leading. The key was to know that wherever God called us to go He would be faithful to provide and care for our children. We were not to let fear rule in our hearts but instead we should trust Him!

I am thankful for the wisdom my husband had as he led our family. How we all miss him! 

I will continue to look and read through the pages of Bibles and sermons and note the particular verses that Lonnie marked and loved. As I love and enjoy our grandbabies, I will and must remember to trust the Lord for these little ones and pray for our children and their spouses as they follow the Lord's leading in their lives and for their families. 

I love these precious grands and their parents so very much! God has been good to us! He is faithful, merciful and loving and He is with us each step of the way! He is holding us by His right hand saying, "Fear not, I will help you." 

Stella with Grandaddy's Bible

Facing Fear

Somedays you can be going through life and all seems well and good and then, all of sudden, you are standing at that cliff again. Thoughts come into your head and you are facing "fear" again. Panic and distress seem to overwhelm your soul. The other day this happened to me.  

When it did, I cried out to God, wailing my fears to Him and crying out for His help. My tears mixed with the waters that flowed in the sink. He was with me and helped me and calmed my fears.  He is our refuge and strength, our high tower.  We can run to Him and find safety and peace (Psalm 46:1).  

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words...What shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?...Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:26-39) 

"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." (Isaiah 41:13 ESV)

I know I am covered by the prayers of others, my children and their spouses, my church family and dear friends. God's love and promise to be with me brings me hope for each new day. 

"Shoes Off"

Jubilee has the sweetest way of letting me know that she doesn't want me to leave when I am visiting her house. She will look at me and ask, "Shoes Off?" or she will say with authority, "Shoes off." If my shoes are off, she gives me the sweetest grin which makes me very happy!  

I was on a walk this morning and was thinking about how sweet Jubes is to show me her love in such a tangible way. Then as I continued in my thoughts, I remembered how God told Moses to take his sandals off as He spoke to him because where he was standing was holy ground (Exodus 3:2-6). Joshua also was commanded to take his sandals off his feet. Joshua was standing on holy ground before the awesome "Commander of the Lord's Army" (Joshua 5:13-15).  

Truly these men were in the presence of our Almighty God and where they stood was holy ground. Taking their shoes off was a way of showing honor and obedience and also signified that they were not going anywhere for awhile. They were going to be taking time in the presence of God. 

We also have the privilege of being in the presence of our awesome God everyday because Jesus made a way for us. Maybe if we listen carefully, we might hear our Heavenly Father say, "Shoes off?" or maybe even, "Shoes Off, take some time to honor Me and spend time with Me before you journey on your way today."  

Because of Jesus, we can "come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). He promised to "never leave or forsake us" (Hebrews 13:5) and He has "made known to us the path of life; in His presence there is fullness of joy; at His right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11).  

When I hear those sweet words, "Shoes Off", they will always signify to me that someone wants me to spend time with them. Let's listen for our Father's voice as He says, "Shoes Off" to us every day.  

So cute!  "Shoes Off!"

Regrets and Encouragement

There are regrets I have in my life and I am thankful for the grace of God and my husband as well.  He was a chaplain in the Air Force and would deal with people who were walking through very difficult events in their life. When he came home at night, I loved to greet him at the door or at noon I would meet him on base and go to lunch with him. He always made me feel like that was the best part of his day, coming home and spending time with me.  

There is one particular thing that I did that I wish I could go back and change. Politics always interested me but in the last five years (maybe more) of our life together, I became a political "junkie" of sorts. I was pretty bad. I am one who loves to sew and quilt and as I would be working on some quilt or creation, I would often listen to "Talk Radio". I would get all engrossed in the big major political event or build-up to the next election and it filled my thoughts. It embarrasses me now to think of it. (I believe we need to know what is happening but I was over the top). Anyone who was my close friend or family member at that time will remember getting the latest political news or tidbit from me, always trying to keep everyone informed about the latest breaking political story.  

I would tell Lonnie the latest news as we reviewed our days together, "Did you hear so-and-so did this or said this?" Lonnie was not able to tell me many of his stories and conversations because he was a chaplain and there is the confidentiality issue. I remember Lonnie saying tenderly that I might be spending too much time on politics and that I was taking up many hours of my day worrying about things that I could not change. He encouraged me to pray and write letters and support causes I believed in but thought I should not invest so much time to it. He was right.  

So now I want to bring you up to this past week. I spent time with a precious young lady who is walking through great anguish and difficulty. She asked if she could come and meet with me. I was at work and I love having my Bible on my phone but I needed to have a "real" Bible, one where I could turn the pages and look for verses. My Bible was at home so I ran downstairs to my friend's office where there was a small pile of Bibles in the Lost and Found. I quickly picked up a Bible and carried it back upstairs.  

When I opened the front cover of the Bible I saw these words: Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I was needing encouragement. I desired and prayed that I would be able to share something that would bring comfort and strength to this beautiful young woman. 

I was stunned.  This is why. After Lonnie died, my son Jeremy went to my husband's office in Germany and he "randomly" picked up one of Lonnie's Bibles. When Jeremy opened the front cover of the Bible, the only verse that was referenced in that particular Bible was Isaiah 41:10. This was unusual because Lonnie usually referenced many verses on the front and back pages of his Bibles. Jeremy shared this verse at the Memorial Service they had for Lonnie in Germany and it has been a verse of promise for me over these past years of heartbreak and sorrow.  

By finding this Bible with this particular verse written clearly in the front, I knew God had just encouraged me in a way that would be very meaningful to me and I, in turn, would be able to bring His encouragement to this dear friend. This verse all by itself brings me more courage and strength than I could imagine and I prayed that it would minister to my sweet friend as well, more than any words I could have ever put together on my own.

You may wonder why I started with my regrets and then ended with God's encouragement. I am just thankful that God met me with words that would help me on my journey and asked me not to be dismayed (by politics or life events) but to know that He is with me and will strengthen and help me. So, I wish that I could have been more like Jesus when it came to my focus during that period of my life in the years prior to Lonnie's passing. I know God forgives me for using up so much time on things that could weigh me down and distract and He promised that if I "confess my sins He is faithful and just to forgive my sins" (1 John 1:9).  

I remember Lonnie saying to me once and, honestly, it makes perfect sense to me now, "I remember meeting that sweet little carefree girl from Montana. I just don't want you to be burdened down by the cares of the world." Lonnie was right. It's amazing how a drastic event in your life can bring such clarity.  

My prayer is that I will be an encourager and that I will fill my heart and mind with things that really can bring help and courage to others. I am thankful that God is our Awesome Encourager! The Best!  

Major Marshall

In early March my little puppy was born and Marshall came home to live with me eight weeks later. He is so funny and cute! When I first tried to take him for a walk on a leash, he was like a little marionette on a string, just kind of flopped around. He has certainly found his strength now as I try to teach him to walk beside me. He is getting big and strong.  

I am thankful for my Marshall. He helps teach me life lessons. Walking with him right now is a challenge. I, like Marshall, need to learn to walk with my Master and not try to pull ahead or drag behind, but learn to trust my Savior that His way is best.  Marshall trusts me to provide his daily food and water and he loves to play and spend time with me. Today I was playing the piano and he was just sitting at my feet chewing on his toy. He enjoys spending time with me and my family. (He needs to not jump up on us but he is still just a puppy)!

So, I am learning little lessons from this dog who keeps getting bigger and bigger everyday. I snapped this picture one day when I was having my devotions. Marshall was trying to get right up on the swing with me and get as close as possible. Another lesson: I want to get as close as possible to my Master as well. I know I can be a challenge at times to my blessed Redeemer. I am thankful for his patience and love.  

PS:  Marshall also is helping me to be a better neighbor. I have met so many of my neighbors and random people as I take my doggie for walks. They tell me all kinds of things which totally amazes me. Marshall, you're a keeper!  

The Lions We Face

In the earliest century A.D., Christians were cast before lions for their faith. I was wondering, what are the lions that we face today? Some Christians do face death in different parts of the world as they profess their faith in Jesus Christ. We would never want to deny our God and our Savior Jesus Christ if faced with such a severe testing.

But, what kind of lions do we face? The lions that could cause us to turn from our faith because we cannot believe what is happening to us. The "If God is good, how could He let this happen?" kind of events in life that can shake us to our core.  

Disappointment and unbelievable grief can cause a person to wonder and seek for reasons and explanation. But you know something that has helped me when facing difficult times and utterly despairing moments (our "lions" that would devour us and try to destroy our faith)? Knowing that God is with me. It is His promise that He would never leave us or forsake us even when we are standing before the "lions" of our life, feeling exposed and helpless. He is with me. I may be shaking but I will not be shaken.  

The story of Job brings us amazing insight. Job was in the arena and he didn't know it. There was a divine drama going on. Job had an audience: God and the enemy of his soul. As Job asked question after question of God, God let him do just that. Job asked questions including "Where are you, God?" and "Why is this happening?".

God never answered one of Job's questions. Instead He had some questions for Job. He asked him, "Were you there when I laid the foundations of the earth? Were you there when I created the stars? Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east? Were you there when I made the oceans and set the tide in motion? Have you visited the storehouses of the snow? Were you there when....?"  

And Job's friends, who tried to find blame somewhere in Job's life or character, were instructed by God to have Job pray for them. Sometimes the reason things happen are unexplainable. Job's wife said, "Curse God and die." Oh my! Job didn't. He did not turn from his God even though He had questions which God did not answer except with questions of His Own.

God illustrated to Job that he could not explain the physical world so how would he be able to understand the unseen world. Psalm 119:68 says "He is good and does good. It is better for me to put my faith in Him than in my own ability and my evaluation of the situation." Job answered the Lord in chapter 42 and said, "I know that You can do anything and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You ... Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me which I did not know." 

In the difficult and trying times of our life, we may not know why things have happened. Our questions may not be answered but the most important thing we can do is be in fellowship and relationship with our God. 

Trust in Him, rely on Him and stand firm. God is here with us. He will never fail. We may not understand, we don't understand, but remember His questions that we, like Job, cannot answer:  "Were we there when He .....?"   

He is here with us at all times and He promises to be near to the brokenhearted. We are not alone when we face the "lions" in our life. 

A Lesson from Ruby

Ruby and Granmommy

I was driving to the airport to pick up Jen and her girls when I started to think of the days I had just spent with Tiffany. I went to be with Tiffany and Zach and was so happy to be there to welcome home their new little baby girl, Lily Clementine. The past days had been so sweet and what a privilege it was to play and take care of Isaiah and little Ruby, Lily's big brother and sister. I was excited that Jen and the girls were going to get to meet Lily and be with their cousins too.  

Sweet Lily Clementine

Ruby is a joyful little one and is such a huge blessing to our family. She has physical challenges due to cerebral palsy. One of their therapy goals is to help her gain strength in her little neck. At times her head falls forward to her chest and Tiffany says, "Ruby, where are you?" Ruby, lifts her head up and smiles sweetly. On other occasions, we reach out and lift up her head and help her to hold it in the position that is so natural for us. She is a little trooper and is getting stronger each day.  

She also clenches her hands (I must say I have seen great improvement and relaxation in her hands over the past year) and when she gets really happy it is just a sweet little reaction of happiness to clench her little hands tightly. When I was playing with her I would open her little hands and play with her fingers.  At times, she would reach up and stroke my face with her open hands which melted my heart. To get a Ruby hug is something really special.  

As I thought about precious little Ruby and her family on this 3-hour drive, I started thinking about our Father in heaven who desires to lift up our heads. "But You, O Lord, are a shield around me, you are my glory and the lifter of my head" Psalm 3:3. He wants to help us open our clenched hands and show us the way to reach out in love just as Ruby has learned to do. 

As I contemplated these Ruby lessons, a song came on the CD player in Zach and Tiffany's van.  It was a new song to me by Emerging Voices and a confirmation of my Ruby reflections. The title of the song is Who Can Compare?  https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/who-can-compare/id543630292? 

Here are some of the lyrics:  

"And You take my hand and You guide me on,
You show me the way to life
You lift my head and You give me hope
You show me the way to life.....
You are the way, You are the truth, You are the life."

I played the song over and over again as I drove along and the words blessed my soul. Thank you, Lord, for my Ruby lesson. You are "the glory and the lifter of my head" and You give us hope. You desire to take our hands and lead us step by step and teach us to keep our hands open to You and others.  

Oh, I am thankful for little Ruby, her big brother Isaiah and baby Lily and their mommy and daddy too.  

Baby Lily, we love you.  

Isaiah in his new Cars apron

Waiting for the Sun to Rise

It's New Year's Eve!  This special day tucked between Christmas and New Year's.  A day to tidy up, rest, organize, remember, make preparations and get ready to celebrate the new year ahead. 

Today I am praying about my goals and vision for next year.  I am remembering each of my children and their families in my prayers and I pray for the Lord to give them vision and focus for this upcoming year and for each new day.  

Speaking of goals, I have this picture hanging outside in my backyard and Zoe and I were reading it together this morning as we were snuggling in the porch swing.  She really liked the part about "eat a cupcake."  "Good idea, Granmommy!"

Yesterday morning, early, my granddaughter and I were waiting for the sun to rise and it seemed to take forever.  We both woke up before 5:30.  We kept looking as the sky was getting lighter and lighter but still no ray of sun until, finally, it poked through the low-lying clouds a little to the south of where we were fixing our eyes.  We were so excited to see the sun!

During worship at church on Sunday, there were two songs in particular that mentioned the rising of the sun.  One was You'll Come http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RmZFaruXhs 

"As surely as the sun will rise You'll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears. You'll come.   

Let your glory fall as you respond to us.
Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come."

The second song was 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman (a favorite).  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jYLTn4fKYQ

"The sun comes up, It's a new day dawning,
It's time to sing Your song again.
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes."

As I sang these words with a voice that was hoarse and recovering from being sick, I was reminded of Zoe's and my quest to see the sunrise that very morning.  We waited expectantly and it seemed to take forever.  We laughed and talked about it.  "Would the sun ever rise?"  It was really special and significant to me as I felt the Lord reassure me that He will come and meet me and He is even more trustworthy than the sun He created.  His desire is to be present in our lives every day.  

One of my goals for 2013 is to meet Him in the morning, where "I can sing His song again and, whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes."  

(Thank you, Matt Redman, for these beautiful words.  Sounds like a very good goal to me!)  

  

Christmas Trees

Christmas Tree 2012

I decided to take a little walk down memory lane tonight....

When it came to selecting our Christmas tree, our family liked to find a real tree and, if we could go cut it down, that was even better!  It was a family tradition to go and find the best tree we could for the money we had in our pocket at that moment.  I remember one year, Lonnie had to reinvent the tree "so-to-speak" by nailing in branches where there were big holes.  One year, we bought a tree too early in the season and had to go out and buy a new one around the 15th because our first tree was such a fire hazard (combination of heater and dry tree is not so good).  

While we were in Guam, as our friends were leaving, they gave us an artificial tree that they had kept on hand just in case a supply of trees did not make it to the island.  This tree had to be put together branch by branch.  It is color-coded and quite an interesting undertaking to get all of the branches fanned out, in place and looking pretty.  

So, for many years, Lonnie and I would put up a real tree in the living room and would find another room in our house to put up the "fake" tree.  This year, I decided to put this "fake" tree in the family room and I think that will be it.  As Zoe and I put each branch in its slot and saw the tree come together, it was kind of therapeutic.  Jubilee helped me with the lights.  

Jubilee helping with the lights

Lonnie always helped me get the real tree in the stand, straightened out (which could be quite interesting and sometimes even frustrating) and then we would decorate it together at first and I would do the finishing touches.  

I found a letter from Lonnie when he was deployed and he reminisced about our Christmas trees:  

"I guess if we had all the money in the world--we wouldn't have had as much fun.  Remember all the stupid contraptions I threw together to hold our Christmas tree up--just because I didn't want to buy a Christmas tree stand?  Buckets--sand--boards--O my!  Then all the hours I have spent in my life trying to convince you that the skinny, bare, rundown Christmas trees I got for a great deal are beautiful trees. You would always look at them and sigh, "Well--whatever."  But then you would provide the miracle of Christmas and each year you make our tree beautiful!" 

Lonnie's Letter

This is my first Christmas in my new home and, well, this year, Lonnie, I am putting up our good old stand-by "fake tree" and putting on our ornaments that we collected over the years including those you gave me on our last Christmas together.  Thank you for so many sweet memories and I hope you like the tree!  It's straight!  I couldn't imagine trying to put up a real tree and trying to get it straightened out without your being there to argue with me about whether it was leaning one way or the other.  Love you and miss you so much!  

At the end of Lonnie's letter he wrote:  

"This letter is a sample of what goes on in my mind over here.  I think about us all the time.  Why don't you write down in short phrases all of the good times you and I have had and then when we get back we can compare our lists.  

Hug all the kids for me -- I love you!!  

Always, Lonnie"

(Lonnie, I'm still working on that list....so many good things!)   

A Heart That Loves....

I have a treasure trove of sermons that Lonnie has written.  I sat down and read this one when I was actually looking for a Christmas play that he had written.   This sermon entitled "A Blessed Hope" was dated August 21, 2005, when we were in Alabama.  I love reading his words and His love for the Lord that is so evident.

Some nuggets, sermon notes "in his own words" (cryptic at times and at other times, not-so much):

The Bible--It contains the evidence of God's love--all about God's salvation story--He gave everything--paid the greatest price of all--because of His amazing love for us.

Creation--The wonder and the glory of creation speaks of God's love--we are surrounded by the evidence--there is a God and He cares about you.

Witnesses--The testimonies of those who have gone before, "My God is a faithful God.  He loved me and sustained me and I long to see Him face to face in glory."

Our Part--Invite Jesus into our lives, receive His gift of forgiveness, grace, love, acceptance and salvation--seek first His Kingdom--seek to live a life that brings honor to Him (knowing full well that it is only possible with His power and grace).  All we can do is say yes to what God wants to give.

His part--Given us many great and precious promises and He keeps every one.  Creator, Savior, Healer.  Sometimes when we are in the dark we need to remember what we have seen in the light.  

He leads us--(When we think we don't need God we stumble, go the wrong way, we become lost).  God gives direction as He reveals His purposes for our lives each day, one chapter at a time.  On-time God, always will be there right on time. (Proverbs 3:5,6) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

Faithful--forgiving--merciful--God's awesome grace--He will never give up on you!!!  This life is only the beginning--glimpses of glory, a shadow of things to come.  He has prepared a place for us--if we turn to Him, the Bible teaches us that He has prepared a place for us to rule and reign with Him throughout all eternity!!  God's awesome love--all about a relationship--His incredible desire to love His children.

At the birth of our first son Jeremy (my wife--long labor, very hard on me)--unexpected emotional rush--wow--life--creation--our son (eyes wide open).  This happened to me each time one of our children was born.

Huntington Library near Pasadena--beautiful place, art, gardens, Jeremy was in the stroller, just a little baby, and his finger became pinched in the stroller.  We couldn't figure out why he was in pain at first.  We were so sad that he was crying and hurt.  My son.

Father God loved the world, the people of the world, and me so much that He gave His Only Son--passion, Calvary, all about His love and desire for a relationship with us.  His Son, His Love.

The Impact of God's Awesome Love:  Psalm 145:6-9  "They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds.  They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.  The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.  The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made."

We are human, therefore, we need compassion (we were created with a need to be loved and cared for).

Years ago, in a far off place--I met this pretty, happy, special girl--she's cool and at some point I began to think that just maybe she thought I was cool, very uncommon--eventually I love you, then one day, yes I will marry you!  Overwhelming that someone could love me enough, accept me, love me enough that they would be willing to live the rest of their lives with me--the greatest feeling of all.  I trust my wife believes that she made a good decision, but at times I can be a pain--she just keeps on loving me--chosen to live the rest of her life with me.

God loves us and wants a relationship with us for the rest of eternity!!!  All of His power and glory, capable of anything--see His heart's desire to redeem, accept, embrace and love His children.  He wraps His arms around us--welcomes us into the realm of His unconditional love--impacts everything.  No matter how difficult the situation, we always know (God loves me).  Most important of all!

Relationship--God forgives us--Now we can have meaningful relationships with others, forgive, show compassion--marriage--life is all about forgiveness, acceptance and love.  We can express those qualities if we turn to the Lord and receive from Him His awesome love.

Perhaps the greatest effect the love of God has upon our lives is that we are irreversibly changed within our hearts so that we no longer live unto ourselves, but rather unto Him who died for us:  (2 Cor 5:15) "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again."

An old Greek proverb asserts, "A heart that loves is always young."  (John 14:23 NIV) Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.  My Father will love him and we will come to him and make our home with him."

As we accept God's love for ourselves, we find a desire growing within to not only love Him back but also to reach out to others in the same spirit of love.  God gives a wonderful promise to those who walk in such a spirit of love in John 14:23.  God comes and makes His home with those who love Him!  Invite the Lord Jesus into your life and rejoice today that God has made His home within you.  Renew your commitment to express your love for God to Him and to others.

Benediction:  Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  

(When I read the little part about me in Lonnie's sermon, it was sweet and touched my heart.  I miss this precious man.  I always will.  I love that he loved so well....  There are some things that just cannot be explained or understood.  So thankful we have "A Blessed Hope".)

The Back of the Book

Do you ever peek at the back of the book to check out what is going to happen when things get tense in the middle?  

I really enjoy reading different kinds of books but have only read a few novels in the past few years. So as I was leaving on a recent trip, I told Jen that I wanted to read two books on the plane rides and guess what? I did it.    

I like to know that everything is going to work out in a story and I really want happy endings. I have been known to peek at the back of the book when I feel unsure in the middle of the story (which I think would cause some of my friends much consternation). At times when I have watched movies, I have begged people to tell me if the star of the movie makes it or what the outcome of a certain character is. Lonnie never wanted to know what was going to happen ahead of time because he liked to let the story unfold as it went along. It pretty much ruined the movie for him if someone gave him too much information about the plot and characters.  

I was thinking about this on my plane trip while I was peeking at the back of the book to make sure that the hero and heroine survived and that justice overcame evil. Once I knew all was going to work out in the end, then I went back to the middle of the book where they were embroiled with troubles and difficulties.  

Later on my trip, I thought about my compulsion to check the back of the book. Why am I like that? Why do I need that assurance that everything is going to work out and be set aright?   

I wondered if I were to read a narrative about my life, would it have a happy ending or read like a tragedy instead. As I pondered this thought, I remembered that the most important story is not mine but it is His Story.  

The last words at the back of the Book, the Bible, ring out: "Surely I am coming soon.'  Amen.  Come Lord Jesus! The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all.  Amen." This thing I do know, the Author of this Book has assured us that good will prevail, our Savior will return, our tears will be no more, we will have joy that we cannot imagine and His grace will be with us.  

It is so good to know that our God has promised to be present with us as we walk through our journey here on earth and experience things we cannot imagine or comprehend, both fabulously wonderful and sometimes excruciatingly difficult.  We may shed tears as we travel along but He is with us and we have read the back of the book.  It will be a very good ending!  Jesus also said that as we walk with Him in obedience and abide in His love, His joy will remain in us.  He said that "these things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full" (John 15:11).  

How good it is to know that God is with us and this promise of His presence brings great assurance and hope. We are blessed to be a part of His Story as we walk with Him through this life. There will be a glorious, amazing ending and then again, it will usher us into a new beginning of an awesome epilogue that will never end!  

Once again, I am glad I have taken a peek at the back of the Book!